Life Can Be So Strange But I Know I Can Make A Change

Prologue - Do You Have The Slightest Clue..?

I watch the boy, the moonlight allowing me to see the salty tears threatening to spill over onto his milky cheeks, the light breeze tussling his thin, blonde, hair carelessly; though I have always thought it looked perfect - whether it was wet and pressed flat against his forehead or sticking up from my fingers carding through it while we were making love.

Chewing on my lip, I wait for his answer to my question, knowing it was a life or death situation, and considering how many times I had hurt him in the past, death seemed to be winning the race.

"Stay with me tonight." I repeat, voice shaky and small, so scared to lose my former lover whom still holds my heart from all those years ago. "Please?" I add softly, eyes begging silently.

The leaves on the trees a few feet behind us rustle quietly as the wind picks up, my eyes watching him intently, longing for an answer. Finally, his crystal blue eyes flicker up from where he had been staring over the edge of the cliff, his feet shuffling a little on the smooth stone he's standing on.

"Are you crazy? You don't even know me." Unlike my own voice his had come out strong and steady, eyes turning hard, probably remembering the night I had left the boy, such a terrible and reckless thing to do, now that I look back on it - but then, it had seemed to be the best option in the situation.

I let my smooth, deep brown eyes soften, hoping he would realize just how desperate I am. "I know, but I'd like to change that soon, hopefully." It was true, what he had spoken- I don't know him anymore, I don't know the man he had become. The last time I had seen him, he was merely a teenager, nineteen years old and two months until his twentieth birthday. Today he's a grown man, a different human being than the one I had left.

I watch him roll his bottom lip between his teeth, a habit he's always done when he's thinking on something important, making the smallest ghost of a smile pass across my face, though disappearing as soon as it had come.

"Alright, you win, but I only give you one night to prove yourself better than my attempt at flight." I smile, though he continues on with his words. "I swear to God, if you hurt me, I will leap- I will toss myself from these very cliffs and you'll never see it coming."

I nod, figuring I should tell him the reason I was here before I get too excited and carry home the perfect human being in my arms. "Settle, precious, I know what you're going through. Just ten minutes before you got here, I was gonna jump too."

Yeah, we all flirt with the tiniest notion of self conclusion in one simplified motion, you see the trick is that you're never supposed to act on it no matter how unbearable this misery gets.

[Story based on the song Self Conclusion by The Spill Canvas]