Oh. My. Fate?! (BL, Volume 5)

41 Prevent Him from Repeating the Same Mistake

Zhangsun Xun Yi frowned. Although Jinde laughed the hurt inside his voice couldn't be missed. Why had that person driven him so far? "If dragons can't fall in love again, then wouldn't it be in vain? Doesn't he understand that? Why did he still ...?"

Jinde sighed and took the painting back. "He's probably just as hopeless as I. You know Chun Yin ... I've loved him for so long. I would have done everything for him and I always thought that he loved me back. I did the whole time. But, in fact, he only told me once that he did. And the day he told me ... was the day he decided to stay with Qiu Ling's mother." Jinde looked up, his expression blank.

All tears that could be shed about that day had already been shed back on that very same day and on so many days in the years after, that he spent alone. He had been hurt and he had felt betrayed but ...

"To this day I still love him. I still wait for him to come back to me. Isn't that ... madness?"

The one he loved, the one he had only been able to call his lover for a few precious hours, that person had already died. Even he himself had nearly died and the only reason he held on, the only reason he injured his own soul to this extent had been because he didn't want to lose those memories they had made. He wanted to preserve them so that he could share them with Chun Yin when he came back.

All that without any insurance that this time would be different.

Granted, they probably would have been together if not for Jian Heng. If he hadn't schemed against them from the time they started to compete for the dragon realm's throne, then all this probably would have never happened. Now Jian Heng was dead.

Unfortunately, there was still Jin Ling around. With his feelings, he would never allow them to be happy with each other if he ever found out that he was still alive. The fact that he still tried to interfere with Qiu Ling's life made that obvious.

So ... Why was he still sitting here and hoping? Wasn't it because he was just as madly in love as Jin Ling? He really was the last person who could fault him.

Zhangsun Xun Yi lowered his head. He really didn't know what to say anymore. He had known the gist of what happened that made Jinde come to the human realm but as for the details ... He had stayed oblivious and if he could, he would want to keep it that way. Unfortunately, it was too late for that. He couldn't go back to knowing nothing.

"If dragons fall in love only once, then it isn't your fault. It's what your nature dictates."

"Other dragons would kill their other half if he dared to betray them. Maybe I should have done that. Kill that woman who dared to bind him. Maybe kill him, too. And then I could have followed suit. All these things ... would have never happened.

There wouldn't be any Qiu Ling who could cause chaos everywhere. Jin Ling ... wouldn't have needed to suffer like that. I ... I wouldn't need to wait for Chun Yin day after day. Everything ... would have just ended."

He reached up and touched his chest. Somehow it felt less bearable right now. The pain he had thought he had left behind long ago caught up with him and it seemed even worse. Why? Why had they been cursed like this? Why had fate played with them like that?

"I loved him. I always did. I still do. But there wasn't even a whole day for us. Sometimes I feel that we're even more pitiful than Jin Ling. At least he knew from the beginning that there was no chance it could ever come true."

Zhangsun Xun Yi stayed quiet and looked at the painting that was still held in Jinde's trembling hands. The only thing he could think right now was that ... This man really sounded like a total jerk.

But he knew better than to say that out loud. The gentle gaze that person had when talking about him showed just how much he still loved him. He certainly wouldn't appreciate his honest thoughts.

Jinde sighed and put the painting aside. "I'm sorry. It's none of your business. You shouldn't have to listen to this. So ... You just wanted to make sure I'm alright?"

"Mn." Zhangsun Xun Yi nodded but in contrast to a certain other person, he didn't just forget what he promised. "There is one other thing though. My disciple's ... fiance disappeared."

"The ..." The Son of Heaven had disappeared? "How come?"

"There was a mission and ... well, something went wrong. He's trapped in a secret realm with another disciple now. My disciple had hoped that you could ..." Zhangsun Xun Yi stopped talking.

The person opposite him had obviously stopped paying attention to what he said right now. His expression had become completely blank and his whole body had tensed up. Just what was going on here?

Jinde took a trembling breath. "Trapped in a secret realm?"

"Mn, yes."

Jinde really didn't know what to say. Hadn't the sect master told him just now that his disciple Yu Jin had met with a mishap on a mission that had resulted in him being trapped in a secret realm? And now Zhangsun Xun Yi told him that Qiu Ling's beloved was trapped in a secret realm with another disciple.

Honestly, was fate really trying to play a joke on him? Why was the reincarnation of his lover trapped together with the reincarnation of Qiu Ling's beloved?! And the worst thing was that both of them couldn't remember their past lives! Who could assure him that time wouldn't lead to anything between them?

Feeling that he had Jinde's attention back Zhangsun Xun Yi didn't lose time in telling him what Qiu Ling wanted. "My disciple thought that maybe you would know how to open such a realm. I told him not to get his hopes up but ... I figured it would not be amiss to ask you. In the worst case, you just wouldn't be able to help. Nothing would be lost."

Jinde put a hand to his forehead. Ah, how much he'd love to go over and help! Not only would he be able to prevent Chun Yin from repeating the same dumb mistake, but he could also see him again sooner. Unfortunately, just at this kind of time Jin Ling was out there somewhere and might return any time. So how was he supposed to leave the sect?!

Ah, if he ever saw that troublesome child again, he would give him a good spanking!