Oh. My. Fate?! (BL, Volume 5)

50 Becoming Immortal Again

Jing Yi sat up and lifted his hands, only to find his cheeks stained by tears. Just what was going on? It couldn't be that this memory had really affected him this much, could it?

He wiped the tears away but it didn't help at all. His heart wouldn't calm down. What he had felt back then in his past life, it assaulted him just as much in this one. There were still tears spilling from his eyes and he even had trouble breathing. He had the vague feeling as if his chest was penetrated by a blade, his heart breaking and his lungs ceasing to function. It was as if death itself had come for him.

"Just how much did you love him?" His voice broke as if he really couldn't take losing that person.

But all this was nonsense! He just hadn't seen him for three days and there was even a good explanation for that! Why would he even assume that that man had stopped loving him?! Was there anything that had even vaguely suggested this? Why was he so ... desperate?

Jing Yi lay back down and turned onto his side. He himself had also felt lost when he was separated from Qiu Ling but there had always been a good reason. When Qiu Ling vanished after bringing him to that mountain to learn how to take in spiritual energy there was the possibility of him being hurt by that storm he wanted to prevent from reaching the capital. And now with the secret realm, there had been that explosion. Both times there had been a possibility of Qiu Ling being hurt. Even though it wasn't likely, there had been one.

But his past self's worry had been uncalled for. He knew that his lover was busy in his role as ... the king? Jing Yi blinked and once again wiped those tears away that slowly stopped streaming down his cheeks. He took a deep breath and turned onto his back again, staring up at the ceiling.

This last memory told him a lot about his past life. So it turned out back then he had been someone important. His lover was actually the sovereign of a realm and his parents seemed to be high-ranking people, too. Just one look at the robes his father wore and the dress and accessories his mother had donned made that obvious. Even the clothes he had seen in the capital city couldn't compare to that. Not to speak of the attitude his father had had ...

So there was actually such a huge discrepancy between his self now and his previous one. Jing Yi bit his lip and sat up. His status wasn't the only thing. What had his past self said to his father? 'Nobody would dare bully your son in the Nine Heavens.'

The Nine Heavens? He might not be a cultured person but even he knew that the Nine Heavens was a place of immortals. So, in his past life, he had been an immortal with a high status?

He couldn't help but think of Qiu Ling when he noticed. His fiance was a dragon and even someone who directly served his king. The kind of status he had had in his previous life probably would have been very fitting for his lover, wouldn't it?

Jing Yi clenched his fists. He didn't know if his past self had gotten that status because of his birth or because of his own talent but he couldn't lose to himself. He would become just like him: Someone who could stand next to the man he loved. But he wouldn't let himself be tied down by any circumstances. He wouldn't lose the one he loved just because of fear.

Jing Yi took a deep breath and changed into the lotus seat. Qiu Ling was immortal so becoming immortal himself was the most important step. Otherwise, he wouldn't be able to stay with him.

"If I was immortal once, then it shouldn't be that much of a problem to become immortal once again. I'm able to do this."

He closed his eyes and started to take in the spiritual energy from his surrounding. It rushed toward him, forming two vortexes above his palms that endlessly fed into his body.

Jing Yi gritted his teeth at the somewhat painful sensation and made sure to patiently guide this energy through his body. He couldn't be too impatient but with his aptitude, he couldn't delay either. He had to make sure to use any second he had to cultivate. That way when he left the secret realm he might have attained the third stage already.

Yes, Jing Yi who had previously doubted that he'd ever reach the third stage in his life had resolved himself to reach it before he left the secret realm thanks to finding his lost memory. What aptitude? What fate? As long as he worked hard enough, as long as he believed in himself and the person he loved he would be able to do it.

He definitely wouldn't allow himself to end up like his former self who had all the things he needed but was too timid to use them. That person had been too weak for his own good. Because of a little pressure from his own father he actually lost the person he loved. How could he do that?

Jing Yi smiled. Maybe remembering these things wasn't that bad. Seeing how he had messed up back then actually made him more decisive to never give up now. He wouldn't let anything stand between himself and Qiu Ling. His past life had served as enough of a warning.

Thus, Jing Yi threw himself into his cultivation with a vigor he never before had. Maybe belief really was what was needed to attain greater heights. It only was a pity that he was cursing his past self for his weakness while not knowing what Jing He really had had to face. Well, maybe he would have the opportunity to find out later and see if he really had been as weak as he thought right now or if maybe there was something more to that story than he thought now.