Redeemable Mistakes

Chapter 4 - Realization and confrontation

I wake up with a banging headache, an arm fling around me and I’m in a spooning position with a man. Last night I remember Matt coming over with wine us talking, then OH NO! Matt kissed me and one thing happen after the other and the memories flood back to me. SHIT! I slept with Matt. Shit, Shit Shit!! No this can’t be happening, I’ll just wake up and this will be a dream, please let me wake up and this to be a dream. I slowly pry open my eyes and it’s not a dream. I sneak out of bed and grab my dressing gown behind the door I scribble a quick note

Matt,

          Last night was a mistake.

         I got up to go clear my head

       And when I get back please can

       You be gone as I can’t face you.

     You’re very sweet and kind but this

    Just was an accident and I was drunk

    So catching up was fun but everything

              Else just forget it. Sorry

                                                      Mia xx

I then left the note on the pillow I slept on, grabbed a change of clothes and quickly got ready to go jogging I then left my apartment building until I thought Matt was gone.

2 hours later I needed to go home to get ready for work as I’m only doing a half-shift today. I fumble with my keys and the walk in my apartment and look around and there no sign of Matt except a note left on the counter.

Mia, 

          Sorry about last night i

        Wasn’t thinking but think

   Of the bright side we both got

        A good one-night stand.

     I won’t tell anyone if you don’t

          And also I was right.

             See you around :)

                                        Matt xx

I read the letter and agreed partly with it but I don’t get what he was right about, my mind was still a little foggy but I’ll forget it hopefully. I then something catches my eye on the bedside table, its Matts iPhone. I need to give it back to him ASAP. After work I will go round his house and give it back to him.

My shift finished and I parked outside of Matts house, Matt’s house was massive, no wonder the wine last night was expensive because Matts rich. I planned to just put it though the letter box but I thought it might get smashed or something so I placed it on the doormat and rang the bell and started walking away until my name was called behind me. I turn around and Matt didn’t look very happy. “Back for more huh? You’re the one telling me to stay away and here you are begging for more your such a slut you’d know that, you’re so clingy that you hid my phone so I couldn’t find it so you can get it to me personally and want more of this” he flapped his hand up and down his body to prove a point, but I was getting annoyed pretty fast but he continued “seriously a note are you that childish you can’t wake me up to tell me it was all a mistake, but it doesn’t surprize me as you held a grudge again me for 15 years seriously!” that was all it took to push me over the edge and man I was seriously pissed.

“Look Matt I didn’t know you fucking lived here and had a fucking family here, I forgot about you but you were in my head with a bucket full of bollocks and hatred on top of you, I hoped you would someday would fuck off but you never did, I wanted bloody answers and I was scared I was 5 for fuck sake how can a girl aged 5 know what to do and how to asked around a jerk like you, last night we were talking and it was nice, If I just left the other fucking bottle of wine in the fridge none of this would of happen! I’m not a fucking slut, that’s just bullshit, but you one the other have a nerve saying I’m a slut when you are a Manwhore. Hate is a bloody strong word and I don’t use it regularly but I hate your guts, I hate you with a passion but most of all I FUCKING HATE YOU!” I stomp off towards me car slamming my door and quickly driving off without looking back.

I turn off the main road and into a layby; I pull over as the tears are just about to over flow. I stop the car, turn off the engine and let my sobs take over my body. I’m lonely again, I’ve fucking messed my life up again, I’ve lost my only friends here because I and a dickhead, I deserve to be lonely. After a while I start up the car and drive home. I get in my apartment and strip my bed because it still smells of him. The tears come back and i collapse on the floor, sometime after I fall asleep on the floor. 

I wake up the next morning feeling more like shit. Luckily today I don’t have to work so can stay and home and be a slob. But there was a knock on my door and I loudly groaned. I opened the door without looking thought the peepy hole and that was another bad decision behind the door was Scarlett and she looked angry, like her head was going to explode.

I put on my fakest smile towards Scarlett as I don’t know why she is angry, so I just stand there until she tells me why she’s annoyed and why she’s here. She understands my look "what the hell did you do to Matt? He won't answer his phone the door and the last person that saw him was you and you also look like shit. Tell me please I'm losing my mind."

I share the whole story up until I leave Matt's house. And the next thing I know Scarlett’s arms are around me. This is what makes me cry again. "Scarlett I need you to listen very carefully to me and once I've told you this you can’t tell anyone?" she nods so I continue "my cousins live in Tennessee so I’m going to stay with them for a bit I’ve got 3 months paid on my apartment and I’ll be back before then, I need to get away from here and as far away I can from him. If you need me on my counter there are keys for the apartment, my number and some cash if anything goes wrong and also there is a little present for you and Riley even though I’ve only known you for 3 days. You’re the closest thing I have to a friend and I really appreciate everything. I’ll ring you or text when I’m coming home but until then thanks” I turn around collect my bags, my phone and my passport before turning around to see Scarlett crying. I hug her tight then I let her go giving her a sad smile before I pushed the button to call the elevator, stepped in and closed the doors.