Jinyoung stood watching the doctor doing the medical examination on Mark's body. Mark was silent, his eyes following the doctor's hand movements.
"How do you feel? You don't feel any severe pain, surely?"
"Just my back and legs a little hurt, Doctor," Mark answered quietly.
"You can have soup and must take the medicine, which I'll leave here." The doctor turned to the nurse beside him, "Prepare the soup with some meat and vegetables and make sure he takes the medicine later."
After the full instruction had been given, the doctor left the room, with the nurse following behind. Perhaps she would come back later with the soup.
Jinyoung occupied his seat back and smiled encouragingly at Mark.
"Are you hungry now? It'll not take long till she comes back."
Mark's lips were in a tight line, probably he was still confused.
"You haven't answered my question, Jinyoung. Where is Hoon? Has something happened to him? Answer me now please."
Mark's eyes were demanding the answer to his question and Jinyoung looked away, his lips slightly apart from hesitation.
Mark had just woken up and Jinyoung did not want to hurt him with the information.
"Did you come back from Japan?"
Jinyoung was slightly relieved at Mark's diverted attention.
"Yes, I came back as soon as I knew about the car accident," Jinyoung said, but if he was not mistaken, Mark was not listening to him but just observing Jinyoung's face to find something.
"Are you hiding something from me, Jinyoung? It's something related to Hoon, I can feel it. Why don't you want to tell me? I have the right to know that, Jinyoung," Mark went silent and panic started to replace his impatience, "Don't tell me that he's-"
"Mark, calm down first," Jinyoung sighed quietly, "We've lost him, Mark. He's...he is dead."
What just happened in a moment, Jinyoung couldn't catch. But next thing he knew, the monitor was showing the alarming heart rate and Mark was clutching his chest with the wide eyes and lips apart.
Jinyoung sprang out of the seat to go for the doctor but at the sight of the nurse entering the room, he shouted, "Help him please. Irregular heartbeats. I'll run for the doctor."
The nurse placed the bowl on the table near the entrance and hurried to Mark, as Jinyoung dashed out of the room.
When he got back with the doctor, who was as worried as him, Mark had got a little bit calm but his heart rate was not in the safe condition.
The equipments had already been set up; the doctor and nurse worked on Mark's chest with the defibrilator till the heart rate returned to the regular rhythm again.
The doctor let out a relieved sigh and the nurse wiped her perspiration on the forehead.
"What happened?" The doctor was now turning to Jinyoung, whose legs were transfixed on the spot, with his cold, sweaty hands interlacing together.
Jinyoung swallowed, "It was my fault, Doctor. He was shocked to hear the news of, er, our friend's death."
The doctor turned to look at Mark, in the way a doctor warned his patient.
"Don't stress yourself. You must be careful. The unwanted things wil happen if you don't bother about your health seriously."
Mark nodded faintly and then closed his eyes. His world had just gone down, why couldn't they understand him?
The doctor had already left and Jinyoung turned to the nurse.
"Um, could I just feed him myself? I'll make sure he take the medicine," Jinyoung convinced her, who was quite hesitant. Mark might need some comfort and the nurse feeding him might not help.
"If you are sure. Encourage him to eat as much as he could."
"Ok, I get it. Thanks."
The nurse left Jinyoung with the soup and medicine in his hand.
"Mark?" Jinyoung called quietly, after taking the seat beside Mark.
The latter's eyes were still closed.
"Can you sit up? Mark, don't be stubborn. You must eat something to take the medicine."
Mark didn't budge an inch; and at last, Jinyoung placed the bowl on the table beside and his hands reached for Mark to help him sit up.
At the touch of Jinyoung's hands on his arm and the side of his body, Mark opened his eyes slowly.
"Are you crying?" Jinyoung stared at Mark's eyes brimming with tears and he was upset for Mark.
"I understand how you feel, Mark. If you want to let it all out to me, I'm all ears. But have the soup, will you?" He intended to sound commanding but it rather sounded pleading.
However, he was grateful that Mark, at last, sat up with Jinyoung's help and leant against the pillow, which was set up against the wall.
He slowly fed Mark, who seemed lost in thoughts.
"It should've been me," Mark stated, bitterly.
"Don't talk like that. It's not like something we can change. So don't blame yourself."
"No, If only I hadn't let him drive. If only I'd driven that day, the one who was dead would be me, not Hoon. And that is what I'd have prefered." Mark's voice was shaking and Jinyoung knew he was crying again.
"But you won't want him to suffer like you do now, if he were alive and you were dead."
Mark went silent because what Jinyoung said was admittedly true. He wouldn't want Hoon to suffer because of him, but even then he would have traded his life for Hoon's, rather than accepting this cruel fate.
Mark's tears were still streaming down and his hands could barely move, fixed by the injection needles.
Jinyoung placed the bowl back on the table and reached out his hand to wipe Mark's tears. He felt hurt to see them but deep down inside him, he knew he shouldn't have any feelings for Mark. No, not even after Hoon had died.
The last thing he wanted was Mark thinking that he took this awful situation to his advantage.
Jinyoung withdrew his hand immediately after those thoughts and took the bowl back to feed Mark again.
"The funeral. I want to attend it. I have so many words to say to him."
"Mark, you can't in this condition. You're not strong enough yet even to get out of the bed. I know it's too much for you if you can't even go to his funeral. But don't risk yourself. Hoon wouldn't want that."
After the soup had been finished and the medicine had been taken, Jinyoung made Mark lie down again to rest.
"If you need something, tell me. I'll be here."
Mark just nodded and closed his eyes agian, to shut down everything. Why could just one day change so much of his life? One day he was safe in the arms of the one he loved and another day he was here all lost without him. Without the one he needed the most.
Jinyoung felt his stomach beginning to ache; he had already missed his lunch.
But staring at Mark, he couldn't leave his friend just like that, only for a meal. Mark was still in his unsettled mind and what if Mark harmed himself, when no one was with him?
Maybe when the nurse came, he could go downstairs, for something to eat.
