It had already been the fourth day of Jinyoung not having met Mark even for once. Consequently all his focus became on work only. That was the only distraction to keep him from any thoughts of Mark.
Yet he could not deny that his heart still yearned to know if Mark was doing well. However, he believed, as the time went by, he would get used to it. When something didn't come his way, the only thing he could do was to learn to live with it. After all, he had spent many years without Mark.
"Please, just this once, I don't want to go there myself," Seoyeon pleaded Jinyoung.
They were in the living-room of Jinyoung's house and seated on the sofa. Seoyeon was beside Jinyoung, who shook his head repeatedly at whatever she said.
"I'm not feeling well, Seoyeon. Why, you usually go shopping alone, right? Why now?"
"It's a new shopping mall. But mostly because I want to go somewhere with you," she tried to make puppy eyes at him.
Jinyoung laughed slightly, "Don't make that face to me. It's not working. And do I still need to point out that you were with me at every lunch time for the past three days? To say that you want to go somewhere with me again."
Seoyeon had come to the company every single day since they had known each other, to chat and have lunch with him. Jinyoung had not been that annoyed but during the weekends, he wanted some time for himself.
"But we have never gone somewhere else aside from that restaurant for lunch," she pursed, "Oh, are you not feeling well?"
Seoyeon reached her hand out to Jinyoung's cheek and forehead. Jinyoung stopped her hand, taking it off his face.
"Just a slight headache."
"Ahem." Someone cleared their throat and called the attention to them.
Jinyoung turned to the voice at the entrance - in the doorway. The door had been opened after Seoyeon had been let in. She also followed Jinyoung's eyes to the visitor.
Jinyoung's heart fluttered a moment but then turned to agony, at the sight of Mark.
"Jinyoung, can I come in?"
Jinyoung got to his own feet in an instant, "Of course. What's the matter, Mark? Come and take a seat."
Mark and Seoyeon looked at each other in the questioning eyes; and Mark slowly came to them and sat down. Jinyoung was also seated again.
"Seoyeon, this is Mark, a friend of mine. Mark, this is Seoyeon."
They just nodded at each other and Mark turned to Jinyoung again.
"Did I disturb you two?" Mark asked, his tone flat and eyes boring into Jinyoung.
"Of course not. Has anything happened to you? You barely come to my house."
It was only once or twice Mark had been here, with Hoon, before Jinyoung had left to Japan.
"Well, I thought you were alone at home, today. Actually I wanted to have some words with you. Something private. But I guess now I'll have to wait for next time," said Mark, a hint of disappointment in his voice.
Seoyeon was quick to catch what Mark meant.
"No, you can talk with him now. I'm leaving anyway," she turned to Jinyoung, "Whatever I say, you aren't going with me, are you?"
"I'm sorry. Next time, I promise."
"Take care of yourself and take some medicine, oppa. I'm going now."
Seoyeon took her bag and after slightly bowing at Mark, she left the place.
The moment she was out, Jinyoung almost wished she had not left, as he was now left with Mark in the uncomfortable silence.
Mark's eyes were quite intense and seemed to be waiting for Jinyoung to say something. They were sitting opposite to each other.
"Well? What's it that you want to talk with me?" Jinyoung tried to sound quite impatient. An attempt to look a bit confident in front of Mark.
"Jinyoung, I'm sorry about whatever I said to you that day. I was just quite frustrated that day."
"Because I came to you everyday? Well, you're saying sorry to me but sadly, I wasn't even that mad to be apologised to."
Mark looked at Jinyoung in awe and for the first time, he was well aware of how unfair he had been to Jinyoung.
"Thank you."
Jinyoung laughed slightly, "After all, we are friends and can't stay mad for long, can we?"
"No, we can't. You're a good friend to me, Jinyoung. I won't never forget that."
Jinyoung took in a long breath, "I was not mad, Mark. But I was really upset. It's my fault anyway. You have the right to point out what you like or dislike."
"It was my fault. I shouldn't have said that. I felt guilty whenever I thought of that, to the extent that I couldn't help but came to you and now apologise to you."
Silence fell and both looked away from each other, trying to find some more words to say.
"Mark?"
"Hmm?" Mark turned to Jinyoung again and their eyes met in an intense gaze.
"I hope you see me as your friend," Jinyoung said, quietly.
"Of course, you're my friend. I see you so."
"No, you don't. In your eyes, I'm not your friend. You see me as someone who is always waiting for your love. That's why you don't want to come closer to me. You're afraid because you think I'll do anything to have your love. And you don't want to give it. But, Mark, I'm concerned about you as a friend. Feelings are feelings, I can lock them up, say, till the end of my life."
"What're you talking about, Jinyoung? Is it because I accused you so that day? I'm sorry about that," Mark pursed, "At least, I realised today that I was totally wrong. You might already have someone else in your mind and you might even want to laugh now if I say you are trying to make me accept you."
Mark was wrong but Jinyoung had no desire to correct it. What was the use of it anyway?
"But you're not feeling well?" Mark asked, suddenly remembering what Seoyeon had said.
"It was just a bit of a lie. By the way, about your apology, I won't take it for granted," Jinyoung said, "Just because you've said sorry, I'm not going to start my routine of coming to you, which you don't want."
"What if I tell you to continue it? That is, I mean, if you want to. After all, you might not even have time for me."
Jinyoung looked at Mark, surprised. Mark looked sincere, but Jinyoung could not understand his friend anymore now.
"Sometimes, perhaps? But are you sure? Are you saying this just not to upset me?" asked Jinyoung, not understanding how to take that.
"I don't want you to stop your visits. I...er, I think you could comfort me somehow," said Mark, a little unsettled on his seat. "I'm sorry about what I said to you that day."
"Ah, okay, I'll come to you occasionally. But if it bothers you again, I'll stop immediately. Say two or three times a week?"
Mark nodded quite eagerly but of course, he could not expect Jinyoung to come to him everyday like before, after all what he had said.
"Wanna go out somewhere for lunch? I'll treat you," suggested Mark.
Jinyoung agreed without second thoughts. He was glad that he had refused to follow Seoyeon earlier.
