Dear Fuckboi: A TomTord Satire

a life worth living

Tom was neutral about Christmas, for reasons previously stated.

He had spent it at home, and went through it like it was any normal day.

That is, until there was a familiar tapping on his window.

Tom drew back the curtains and opened it up. The frosty breeze made him shiver. There, staring back at him, was none other than the man, the myth, the legend, Sa- Tord. It was Tord.

"I thought you were going to leave me alone." Tom couldn't help seasoning his voice with salt. It was impossible to talk to this dumbass in a normal tone.

"I was just checking to see if my letter got to you."

"Yeah, I did. Good thing my dad didn't open it. He probably would've thought we were in some stupid, taboo relationship." This made Tord quickly exhale through his nose in a silent laugh.

There was a lull, then Tom spoke again.

"Did you hear about the kid who drowned themself?"

Tord nodded. "Yeah. I'm actually the one who found them."

Tom's eyes widened. "Really?" he said in surprise. "Why were you there in the first place?"

"Taking care of some business," Tord shrugged. When he saw Tom's confused expression, he said, "I decided to uproot that damn tree. It was a symbol of those demons you mentioned. I'm not killing myself any time soon." Tom nodded in approval.

"Do you know why that kid killed themself?"

"I heard some of the reports. Apparently, the police found that the last thing in their browser history was some shitty fanfiction that everyone seems to love. I read it myself, and boy, is it awful. Definitely doesn't deserve the praise it got..." Tord began to ramble. "But I digress. They found that the kid wrote about how it was so bad that it made them want to die."

"And that's the tea," Tom said in response, for he had nothing else to add.

---

With some hard work and extra effort on Tom's part, he was able to graduate, and Tord was, too. Tord moved in with his pal, Edd, while Tom lived in an apartment. Eventually, he befriended Edd and moved in as well, along with Edd's other friend, Matt. It was easier this way, as money was tight for these fresh-out-of-school boys.

Tom felt better than he had ever been. Tord had accomplished some goals he had set. Those goals had kept him moving. The two boys turned men found meaning in their lives, and chased their demons away. Life was finally worth it.

The small group of friends had many adventures; too many to count, in fact. Zombies, vampires, trips to Hell, you name it. They did it all.

And, well, I think you know the rest of the story.

The End