Austin and Ally- Love Comes Around

Stranger

I have Aiden in one arm and Aubrey is sitting on my lap with one arm around her. I am watching Frozen while she sings along.

Sighing I look at Aiden asleep and hope Aubrey don’t wake him up because he just went to sleep. “Aubrey sweetie, please try to be quiet.” She turns on me and I swear I see the look Ally gives me. “Aubrey Faith, I mean it. Do not wake your brother up.” She crosses her arms and turns back to the television still singing but quieter.

Ally and Alex are still asleep. Aubrey woke up five hours ago and I have been trying to take care of both of them and I realize for once how truly hard this is. Aubrey wants all the attention and wants things when she wants them. Aiden wants attention and needs fed and changed when he needs it.  I don’t know how Ally and Alex did this. I already had to make three different things for Aubrey while holding Aiden and trying to change and feed him as well. I am happy that for once in six hours I can relax and sit down.

Aubrey fell asleep in my lap. I have Aiden asleep in one arm and Aubrey asleep leaning on the other. I hear footsteps and turn to see Alex walk through the hallway stretching. “Thanks man. I feel so much better.” I smile, “No problem, you have done so much.” He comes over and looks at both of them and smiles, “Need help?” I nod and he picks up Aubrey and takes her upstairs.

A couple minutes later he comes back with diapers and wipes in his hands. “I learned to keep these down here so that when you have both its easier to let her play while you change him.” I look at him in amazement, “Oh my god, you are great at this Alex.” He smiles and sits down next to me, “I just learned and you will too.” I look down at Aiden and shake my head, “I don’t know. Aubrey was one thing but now I have two of them to watch over and take care of.  How do I do that when they each need and want different things?” He sighs then smiles, “You will just learn. It is going to be hard at first, me and Ally still have trouble with it sometimes and we have wanted to sit down and just give up but we have been learning. She learned to sing to Aiden when he cant go to sleep. I learned to rock Aiden to put him to sleep. I learned to keep the diapers and everything down here so It is easier. Ally learned to make bottles and place them in the fridge. I learned that when Aubrey wakes up sway with her and hum and she goes right back to sleep. Austin you will just learn as you go, you find out what works and what doesn’t.”

I look at Alex in amazement. He knows all of this. He has dealt with all of this. Its like these kids are his kids. He might as well be the dad he knows tricks for them and everything. I feel like a stranger in my own house with my own kids.

I hear footsteps and turn to see Ally walking down with a smile. “Oh my god, that was the best sleep in a long time.” She walks over and looks down at Aiden before leaning in and kissing my cheek, “Thank you so much.” I smile as she sits down between me and Alex. “You deserved.” I look at them both, “You both did.”

Aiden woke up and I look at him and check his diaper to see it is full. I get up to start to walk upstairs when I hear Alex, “Man, the diapers.” I look over and laugh, “Right. So much easier.” I walk over and place Aiden on the chair and start changing his diaper.

I finish and pick him up, “Hey little guy, Do you feel better?” I look at him as he smiles slightly. “Ally, look he is smiling.” She laughs, “He does it all the time Austin.”  I feel my smile disappear, “Oh.” I walk back over to the couch and sit down holding him. I feel a hand placed on my arm, “Its okay.” I look over and shake my head, “I feel like a fucking stranger.” I had Aiden to her and walk away.

I walk outside to the pool and sit down. I put my feet in and just watch the water. I see Ally’s reflection in the water a few seconds later. “Austin?” She sits down and places her feet in and leans against me. “Austy what’s wrong?”

I look over to her and sigh, “I just feel like I am stranger in this house, with my kids.” She looks at me with sympathy and I turn away, “You don’t get it. I come in and Alex has all of this taken care of. He knows these tricks and I feel like I am lost and a stranger.” I feel her arms wrap around me and I smile slightly. “Austy, its okay. It is just going to take a little while for you to learn eveyrhting. Its hard, I am still learning too. We can learn together.”  I turn slightly and smile. “Thanks babe.” She leans in and kisses me.

I pull away and look at her, “I need to get my books.” She nods and smiles leaning against me, “I know. You can go get them today if you want. Alex and I can watch the kids. He said he will leave tonight.” I nod and look down at her, “Yeah maybe I will do that and I can bring dinner home.” She smiles and leans in kissing me before standing up and dusting herself off.

I stand up and walk back in the house to see Alex with a bottle for Aubrey while she is in his arms with Aiden and a bottle in the other. Both kids are content and he is good. How does he do that? I walk upstairs and take a quick shower.

I come back down in fresh jeans and shirt. I have my hair done better and I smell a hot lot better. I look at Alex with both kids asleep in his arms and on his phone. “How do you do it?” He shrugs, “I don’t know.”  I grab my keys and walk out to my car and start it up. I look in the mirror and see Alex with the kids and Ally cleaning. How do they do it? How do they make it look so easy? Sighing I pull out of the driveway still feeling like a stranger in my own life.