Not Another High School Love Story

11. Written in the Stars

Life goes on, the same as it always has, but I do my part to keep up. It's Friday again, but there's nothing too special about it. The football team has a game later, and we have exams today, but I'm pretty confident. I have a textbook open on the table beside me, flipping through it while I eat my breakfast, and I'm comforted to find that I know all the material. Things have started to settle down for me again, and I'm trying to get back to how my life used to be—quiet and normal. Granted that feels very boring now that I've had a taste of the other side, but it's for the best, and I'm sure it'll be a relief for everyone involved.

My dad comes into the kitchen, straightening out his sleeves as he glances at me, but I just go back to reading. I'm sure he'll be the happiest when everything goes back to normal. His campaign is heating up, and no doubt I'll be more useful if I stay in his shadow and smile when he tells me to. It's just easier not to fight it, I'll have plenty of time for that when I graduate and move halfway across the country. He grabs an apple out of the fruit bowl and takes a bite before leaning against the counter, and when I finally decide to give him my attention I can see he's planning on ruining my morning.

"Big day?" He overestimates the difficulty of the exams, and I just nod my head in hopes that he'll leave me in peace. I've never been that lucky though. "Listen, I'm going to need you to come straight home after school today. I've got something I have to do tonight, and I'd appreciate if you would humor me, just this once."

"You want me to skip yearbook?" That hardly seems fair, but I know I probably would be better off agreeing. It's not really a big deal, I can afford to miss a day or two, but I don't like him asking. Why are his plans more worthwhile than mine? Of course in a perfect world he would just do his thing and I would do mine, but clearly I haven't quite earned his trust back from the whole party incident. At least I've finally been ungrounded, and that's a start. Still, I won't budge. "I can't."

"Jonah, I'm not asking. I understand you've got stuff going on, but this is important." Dad tries to be levelheaded about it, even though he's basically forcing my hand. This is one of his better moods, and I know I'll quickly spoil it if I don't tread carefully.

"And yearbook's important to me. It was your idea that I get more involved, remember?" I shrug, retaining my cool as I continue eating my breakfast.

"That's not what I meant. I thought you'd go out and join a sport, you know, something that would get you more friends, or even a girlfriend." He maps out the future he's envisioned for me, and it cuts to hear him say it. Usually I can choke it down when he wants to pull the strings, but this feels personal. I know he doesn't know I'm gay, and I haven't exactly wanted to tell him, but I would've thought he might've taken a little more time to get to know his only child. Has he never had any questions, or doubts? He's never even bothered to ask if those are things I want.

"I've got Grace, that's all I need." The answer I give is all-encompassing. It's funny, I accepted a long time ago that he's never going to be what I want him to, but he can't give me the same respect. I'm his kid and he thinks I still need him to hold my hand, I get it, but I'm so far beyond that, and I know a thing or two about what I like. And what I don't like. "I'm sorry to let you down, dad, I never realized I was such a disappointment."

"There you go being a smartass again, I never said that." His voice is dry, and I can tell I've already worn him down to his last nerve. It seems fair though, if he's going to ruin my day then I'll ruin his. Still, I admit that I'm picking a fight, and I'm not sure why. Maybe I'm bored. Or it could be that I'm still angry about a few other things that keep weighing on my mind. He's not in my head though, he's not privy to everything I am, so all he has to go on is what I've said. "Maybe you want to go stay with your mother if you hate it here so bad."