It's been a Year

Dylana VI

On the fourth day of being 'sick' my parents are getting suspicious. "Dyl, are you feeling okay? Do you want to see a doctor?" Luckily I can talk myself out of an appointment at the hotel's doctor. After my parents left, I get in the shower and shave each hair from my body, except the ones on my head. Milo and I didn't have sex. Yet. We didn't even move off base one, but he's going to leave tomorrow, so if we're doing it, then today. I'm kinda terrified, because I have basically no experience, except the tips that Logan had given me a while ago, but I never used them. With a towel around me I step into the room and I'm facing the lady from room service. She says sorry about ten times and scurries out the room. Poor woman, luckily I had a towel around me. While I'm dressing, there's a knock on the door. I peak my head out. In front of me I see Milo. He's smiling at me with his surfer boy grin. "Hey beautiful.", he says while stepping into the room. "Hi." My heart skips a few beats when he strips off his tshirt. I quickly go to the bathroom and put on my pretty underwear. It's a red thong with a matching red bra. Milo's eyes widen when I step in. he's lying on my bed and I approach him. With one knee on either side of him, I bend over him and we stare into eachothers eyes. We kiss. And kiss. And kiss. During the kissing I sometimes open my eyes and watch his closed eyes. Colson and I used to do that sometimes. I'd open my eyes while we're kissing and our eyes would meet, because he was watching me all along. The thought of that makes my heart ache. I miss those eye contacts. I really miss them. I didn't notice that I'd stopped kissing Milo. With a questioning look he looks at me. "You know, I brought condoms, so no need to worry..." I get up. I run to the bathroom and look in the mirror. Milo followed me. He looks puzzled. I pick up a towel from the floor and wrap it around me. "You have to go." My voice is firm, but on the inside I feel everything but sure about my choices. "Dylana, what's wrong? Did I make a mistake or..." He's frustrated I can tell. But not because of me, it's because of what we could've done today. "Just go. Now." Milo puts his tshirt back on and leaves the room. When the door is closed, my emotions flow. I had the best thing. I had Colson. I fucked it up. I chose Kai. Ew, how could I? I nearly had a proper thing with a guy I bearly knew. He wanted my body, but he didn't want me. It doesn't really disturb me, though, because for me it's just the same. All I can think about is how I could let, the one thing that I was sure about, go? We let eachother go, but how could I ever move on, from him, the guy I thought was the love of my life? I should've fought more, longer. I shouldn't have given up. But it's too late now. I dated Kai. That really, really fucked things up. Kai is popular for being a weird bodybuilder. Colson wasn't and still isn't fond of him. I regret being with Kai. He was kinda embarrassing, but I ignored it. I feel sorry for him. He is egoistic, but I really broke his heart. He said I was the love of his life. At that stage I laughed about it. We lasted for two months or so, I didn't even count. People were surprised when they saw us dating. He was too weird for me. And Colson told me that Kai was a douche and I was deeply disappointed. I mean, I would never call his future girlfriend a bitch or anything else. But I see what he meant. Kai is a douchebag. I never saw that side of him at the beginning. Kai said the right things to me when I was feeling bad. I don't know what made me fall inlove, but looking back, it wasn't love. It was frustration. Frustration about not getting away from Colson.

When my family gets back, I'm prepared to go out for dinner. It's our last evening in Cape Town before we fly back to London. I can't believe that I wasted this whole time eith Milo, but I want to enjoy at least the last evening. Helia is delighted that I'm coming. When we're in the lift, she nudges me. "Thanks for saving me from another dinner alone with mum and dad, that are feeling superromantic at the moment." I laugh. Embracing her in a tight hug I nearly start to cry. If I were with Colson, I'd be like my parents too. Kissing and holding hands. I can't believe that I turned into one of those girls, that talk and think about their crush all the time and cry whenever they imagine him with another girl. Wiping my eyes I walk out of the lift. i check my phone. One message from Colson that I'll look at later, but none from Milo. With no regrets I block his number and put my phone in my bag. Tonight I'm going to focus on my family.