It's been a Year

Colson III

After five minutes on the train I'm already bored. Because Ryder was so kind to buy me the most complicated route back to Victoria station, so that I have to stay awake, otherwise I might miss my stop. That guy must really hate me. My seat is on the wagon next to the smokers' one, so I smell all the smoke, but it doesn't disturb me at all. The trip is over 16 hours long. Luckily, I can charge my phone in the train. Just as I plug in my phone, I get an answer from Dylana. Fuck. I take a deep breath before opening it.

'It just didn't work out for me. Idk if you understand. 😊'

Wait, this is kinda passive-aggressive. First, she says idk if I understand, which I really don't, and then she puts that provoking smiley behind the message. Dylana isn't the type to be mean on purpose. Maybe she's just sad. Sad about losing Kai? I can't understand that. I wonder if she was sad when we broke up. I was. The first two nights  after the breakup I didn't sleep for a single minute. It was our fault that it didn't work out. I went to too many parties and she never had time, so we fell apart. She was my first love, but I've had many flings since Dylana, only few where I really knew who I was making out with. I was always drunk, so we never did more than make out. Once or twice topless, but that was only with Sarah. Dylana doesn't know about me and Sarah. I guess there's nothing to know, but somehow there is. At nearly every party Sarah and I hang out together and end up making out. It's just a standard and many people know that. But Dylana isn't friends with my squad. Except for Mara. But she tries to stay neutral between us. And I'm kinda glad about that, because for some reason I wouldn't want Dylana to know about me and Sarah. "Il biglietto, per favour." I show my ticket to the controller and look out of the window. After an hour I get out, but my connecting train is an hour late. That means, I'll miss all of my other trains. Frustrated, I go to the little station store. They don't sell much and none of their food looks inviting. I browse the shelves and spot a pack of cigarettes and without thinking I buy it. The vendor didn't even ask for my age, he just let me buy two packets of cigarettes and a bottle of water. My mom had given me fifty euros for food on the way home and now I had already spent 15, but not on food. I decide to wait at the rail where my train is going to come in. There I just sit and smoke cigarettes, one after the other. After six cigarettes my train is here and I board it. I don't have to search for long until I find the smoker wagon. Sitting on my suitcase I light the next cigarette and answer Dylana:

'So, how do you feel now?'