"you look tired"
"Had trouble falling asleep last night," she sighed. "Basically the past few years."
A college student struggling to keep her grades up and keeping her apartment. Suffering from insomnia, which ends up in endless amounts of coffee a...
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Astraea Tuesday
♪ You don't have to be a hero to save the world. ♪
My earphones blared softly as Cavetown's voice came through. Chords of the guitar coming through after. Blending well with his voice, honey-sweet. A voice that could put you to sleep. That's what I love about him.
♪ It doesn't make you a narcissist to love yourself. ♪
Breathing becoming a little less rigid. Clenched hands becoming fragile and gingerly with my phone. His voice could do wonders. It is scary and wonderful at the same time. Slowly becoming conscious of my surroundings and sounds, I stop for a moment for my eyesight to focus. Shaking my head a little bit to go unnoticed, I keep walking towards my destination.
One more block and I'll be at work.
I raise my head up higher. Noticing my posture was horrible and tense, I take a deep breath and relax. Letting my shoulders fall into a comfortable position and straighten my back. I then walked slower to take in my surroundings. Appreciating the way the sun was creating various colors to paint the sky. Drowning out the music and walking with my head in the clouds. Robbie's voice faded into a distance and reality hits me as a hot substance comes in contact. Hissing a little bit as my skin is sensitive and the hot substance doesn't help at all.
"Holy sh-I am so sorry. Um, ok. I-uh here's some tissues," his voice sounded shaky and scared.
Grabbing my earphones that fell out from the collision and stuffing them in my pocket.
"Oh. Thanks. Don't be sorry I should have been paying attention to where I was going. It was a simple mistake." Taking the tissues from his hands and wiping the not-so-visible-stained-shirt I had on. "As weird as it sounds, I do love smelling like coffee. So it's not a big deal." Stuffing the used tissues in my pocket I look up and do my best smile.
"Oh. Ok then, uhh-do you want some coffee then. I want to repay you back for spilling it all over you if that's fine?" He smiled a little bit. His hand pointing to the coffee shop he walked out of.
It was a quaint and chic little shop.
Happy that I get coffee in the morning, I nodded. I walked behind him as he opened the door. Walking to the counter and looking over the menu I decide on an Americano. Once we ordered, I threw the trash away and stood by the pick-up counter.
"Thanks for buying the coffee."
"Oh uh. Your welcome."
The air around us grew awkward. Or I probably just felt that. The only noises that could be heard were the noises the coffee machine was making. Footsteps, clicks, and the music that was playing in the background. Growing anxious about the situation I scratch at the fabric of my pants. Itching to have something in my hands to hold and touch. So I stood there stiff and not knowing what to do.
A soft but stern voice told us our coffees were ready. I walked up to the counter and grab my cup. Wanting to get out of the situation I walk past the guy. Not sparing a glance and head for the door.
"Thank you," I say once again.
"Your welcome," I hear him say as he walks out too. We both walk our separate ways. Sighing in relief, I take a sip of my drink and instantly I feel more awake. The power of coffee. Happy that the guy didn't try to get my name or start a conversation.
Once I entered the shop Daniel engulfed me in a hug. Soul crushing. The 18-year-old, muscle head didn't know how to control his strength. I lightly tapped on his arm, signaling to let me go.
"I'm so happy your here, I was getting bored." His voice told me that he was beyond tired.
Nodding, I go to the break room to grab my apron. When I finished Daniel hugged me again. "Are you wearing my sweater?"
"Yea, is that a problem?"
"No, its fine, keep it."
My time at the shop consisted of Daniel and I talk about anything that comes to mind. It was mostly him talking. People would come in here and there looking around and buying flowers for their significant other or parent. Having finished my coffee a while ago, the symptoms of caffeine is starting to wear off.
"Would it be okay if I could stay over at your place?"
"Knock yourself out," I yawn. I had already noticed the bruises on his wrist. Don't like that he still chooses to live there. "You don't have to ask. Just come over and we'll watch romcoms all night long."
Daniel laughs a little bit.
Once we locked up the shop we made our way to the apartment. Sophia let us leave early than the regular hours as she wanted to go home too. There was still light out as it's currently 6 in the afternoon. Deciding to make pasta for dinner we walk towards the market near my apartment. Laughing and getting sidetracked with candy we finally got what we needed. Paying for the groceries and walking back to the apartment we talked about what we want to do when we grow up.
"I want to do photography or writing. What about you? What do you want to do?"
Daniel sneezed loudly and brushed the hair out of his face, "I don't know honestly."
"Well that's fine, take it slow, there's no need to rush." Once the apartment complex was in sight we walked faster, wanting to be warm.
"I know but," he sighed and ran his hand through his hair again, "it's just other people my age are out there doing stuff and they know who they are." A click signaled that the door unlocked and we put the snacks away, leaving out the ingredients.
"That's them bub. They're going at their own pace, and just because those people are out there doing stuff doesn't mean that you're any less. Everyone goes at their own pace, even its slower than others. It's fine, take your time." I walked up behind him and hugged him. Rubbing his arms.
His mouth went into a thin line and he sighed. "I'm scared Astraea. I'm so scared," his voice cracked and eyes become glossy with tears waiting to fall. "That I'm not going to be successful. That I'm going to be like them, because I don't want to. I'm scared that I'll never leave and that what I'm doing isn't enough." Callisto came out from my room, noticing Daniel's state she came running.
"Bub, what you're doing is enough. You're doing your best and that's what matters. If they can't see that, then they can suck a jellyfish." Once I stated this he laughed a little bit. Callisto was licking his face and rubbing against him.
