enemies flames - lrh

twelve.

Just as I insisted, we ended up at mine.

I don't know if Lennon is relieved or annoyed that we did but I hope to make her feel a little bit better about everything before she heads home. She sits at my counter as I make food regardless of Lennon telling me several times that she wasn't hungry. 

I can only imagine, she's probably sick to her stomach after finding out the truth of last night but I figured I'd make it so it's an option anyway. I don't even know what the fuck I'm making, all I know is I cracked some eggs on here and I'm attempting to make them.

Lennon hasn't said a word as she keeps her knees bent at her chest, her chin resting on them.

"Are you going to say something or are you just going to sit there in silence?" I ask Lennon as I look over my shoulder, considering she hasn't said a word since we got here.

She shrugs her shoulders and doesn't give me a response, silently answering my question as I don't know what to say next. I'm not much of a conversationalist, especially when it comes to stuff like this.

"Going to take that as a no," I mutter mostly to myself.

Lennon sighs and whispers, "Sorry."

I place my spatula down, hearing her apologize again, and say, "Stop being sorry all the time."

Lennon is silent once more. I get back to messing around with these stupid eggs that neither one of us are probably going to eat. Nonetheless, I add some seasoning to them as I keep my back to her.

Eventually, Lennon speaks up.

"I didn't mean to ruin your night last night because of my mistake," she says clearing her throat softly. "I know you don't want me to say sorry but I do apologize for that."

Her words throw me off, shocked she's blaming herself and apologizing for it. She's choosing to once again not put herself first, instead taking the blame for the horrible things that happened to her.

"Lennon, you didn't ruin my night," I say exhausted of this, and feeling angry at myself for making her feel as if she had ruined my night. "Don't apologize for something that's not your fault."

She was drugged last night yet the only thing she's worried about is ruining my night. Hell, she didn't know it was happening. It was out of her control. We have parties every weekend and having to shut one down isn't going to throw me over the edge.

She doesn't respond so I just turn back to the food, taking it from the pan. Grabbing two plates, I mutter curse words under my breath considering I never do this. I don't cook, so why the hell am I cooking for her?

Guilt is a wonderful thing.

"Here," I say as I hand her a plate.

"I'm not hungry."

"Yes, you are Lennon," I say figuring she must be.

"I'm really not," she says more stern.

"Well, just try to eat something-- fuck, I don't know," I say, not being good in these situations. I'm not someone who offers comfort, in fact, I'm typically someone who offers discomfort. This time, I signed up to be the person to provide comfort.

Lennon takes the plate and sighs as I grab my own plate and sit beside her. I dig into the food right away to eat off my anger, and of course, Lennon doesn't touch it. I try to distract myself with the food while allowing my thoughts to consume me.

Neither of us say anything, both sitting in silence as Lennon pushes her lips to the side and stares out straight in front of her. I try not to let my gaze linger for long but I can't help but sneak a peak at her occasionally, trying to read her mind and get an understanding of what she's thinking about. It frustrates me that she's sitting there in silence and not talking. I want to just grab her by the shoulders and shake her until she speaks.