The fight to get back to you. (Book 3)

Chapter 5

Weeks went by and I was struggling, I still wasn’t sleeping and I was becoming a nightmare for my parents. My mum did nothing but worry about me and on occasion I would snap at her to just stop and then the guilt would make me even more depressed.

I needed my own place where I could be alone. I had intended on buying Lucas and I an apartment in town near Charlie’s but he’s now shacked up with Vanessa which I realised the next day is Alfie’s ex-girlfriends friend.

She used to come to those sleep overs that Charlie had as a kid and I remember she was beautiful so I was trying my best to be happy for Lucas although it was killing me. At night when I wasn’t thinking of him, or catching the few hours I was capable of, I was tossing and turning from dreams about the frontline and the lieutenant lying dead on my gurney.

I thought when I came back from war everything in my life would get better not worse, I thought that my life would have meaning to it, that I would have something worth living for. Instead I am stuck with constant headaches and the need for an escape, maybe I should just sign back up at least I had routine and something to keep my mind occupied.

I tried to keep a happy face around my family as much as possible, especially when Charlie and Domingo moved to England so that Charlie could work in a hospital over there. It was hard to watch him go and even harder to leave him again after their wedding, England was nice it was something new maybe I should have a new start like that?

There was still no progress with Lucas, he had barely spoken to me at the wedding or since and it was getting harder and harder to be around him. I know I had told him several times to move on but I didn’t think he would be able to cut me out of his life so easily and so thoroughly.

A week back in Albuquerque after the wedding and I ran into him again as I was walking around the park trying to escape my mum for a few hours. He was alone but he looked like he was headed somewhere, with his head down and not paying attention.

He collided with me and when he looked up and met my eyes I could see the pain in them. I couldn’t understand this he had moved on, met someone else, he was happy…wasn’t he?

“Lucas, I am sorry I didn’t mean t-“

“Sorry for what? Not calling me, not trying like you promised we would, not speaking to me at the wedding and acting like I don’t exist…sorry for what Elliot?!”

“Hang on a minute I came to see you the night of my party, I thought we could talk then but you didn’t follow me to my room like you always do. So I ran all the way to your house to be told that you were sleeping with Vanessa! I didn’t want to ruin that for you I told you that you should move on and I meant it and I didn’t ignore you at the wedding you barely said two words to me?!” I snapped.

“Vanessa?” He looked puzzled. “I wasn’t sleeping with Vanessa?! I stayed over because she was listening to me whine about you! I love you when are you going to understand that, it’s been four years Elliot it’s never going to change.”

He walked away from me the tears in his eyes finally breaking free and spilling down his caramel skin, his dark lashes laced with twinkling droplets. I grabbed out and pulled him back before he could get any further and smothered him in a bear hug.