I apologize in advance for the lengthy dialogue....
"Lee," Stevie poked her head out of the door, "you can come back in." She stared down sympathetically at her baby girl. The young girl was obviously struggling with her emotions, her eyes, cheeks, and nose puffy and red from crying.
"I don't want to..." Lee replied quietly, she was afraid of what would fly out of her mouth that could be directed towards her mother.
"Oh honey...listen," Stevie kneeled in front of her daughter, "we won't be upset with you if you don't feel comfortable doing this. Your father and I just think that this will help us resolve our problems...I know that we still have problems after everything that I've done...I'd really appreciate it if you came in." Stevie sighed softly, "If you want to go in alone then that is perfectly fine, we will wait out here-I just want you to talk to someone. You can't keep hurting like this."
"I'm scared to say how I feel," Leelee explained, feeling her mother take her hand
"Why, baby? We won't judge you...we just want you to stop hurting yourself-I want you to be solely focused on having your baby."
"It hurts to talk about it. I don't want to dig up the past. I've tried to forget the past." Lee tugged on her sleeves nervously
"I think that, that is what's hurting you...I'm not going to push you to go in there."
"Everything okay out here?" Lindsey poked his head out the door
"I'm fine," Leelee stood, forcing herself into the therapists office as she avoided all eye contact. Taking a seat across from the doctor, she folded her hands in her lap, focusing on the walls, books-anything to avoid eye contact.
"I want you to open up to me. Let everything out. Your parents can't judge you as you are innocent in this," Dr. Miller emphasized, looking to Stevie and Lindsey who nodded in agreement...both were holding their breath as to what may come out of their daughters mouth. Stevie wanted Leelee to thrive more than anything but part of her feared just what hurtful things may be thrown around.
"What do you want to know? I mean where do you want me to start?" Lee shrugged, her focus now on her lap
"Start from the beginning, when you first noticed that you were struggling."
"It was when my brother died..." Her voice was barely above a whisper, able to hear her mother take in a sharp breath at the mention of Asher.
"Can you tell me your thoughts and emotion that came along with that?" Dr. Miller scribbled various notes on her pad, never really looking directly at Lee. The young girl was slightly relieved as she didn't want the woman's full attention on her...feeling as though the doctor did it on purpose.
"I was angry at everyone...I didn't understand why it had to be Asher that God had to take, Why God Let the accident happen in the first place. When it first happened nothing seemed real-like he and Dad would just walk through the door and we would celebrate Dad's birthday. I realized that Asher would never come home and I saw Mom hole herself in her music room, hear her constantly sobbing or talking to Ash. I started to wish that it was me who had died instead of him...they would still have Ash." Leelee's tears fell freely, accepting a box of tissues from Dr. Miller. Stevie and Lindsey remained still standing by the door, neither of them knowing that their daughter had wished to take their sons place. Stevie could no longer contain herself as her body racked with sobs that she tried to suppress.
"I'm sorry," Stevie choked out, exiting the room
"I don't want to do this anymore," Leelee panicked, afraid that her mother was somehow upset with her. The young woman stood quickly, attempting to go after her mom but Lindsey placed a hand to her shoulder.
