Random bnha lemon one shots (trust me when i say random)

Kirishima x Bakugo

(its not what it seems, trust me) 

After Kirishima had heroically saved Bakugo's life from Shigaraki that one time with All for one, They were suddenly at a very scenic place involving a beach and a really colorful sunset.

Kirishima was gracefully twirling around Bakugo, who was in a long, flowing dress, that beautifully complimented his murder-filled, crimson eyes. "You look absolutely gorgeous tonight, my love," Kirishima said as he was staring directly at Bakugo. He, for some reason had a really feminine voice and replied with, "Oh well thank you, you unbelievably hot and spicy teddy bear."

They both wanted each other so bad. They had only said the previous sentences but were both completely DRENCHED with the sexy juices. Kirishima picked up his phone and requested an uber. They're kids, they're not allowed to drive, that would be insane. who would let these kids drive? Not me, thats who. I'm responsible. Obviously.

As they were waiting for their uber, they had to forcefully keep their hands away from each other, so as to not start anything too early. It would be pretty awkward if their uber drove up as they were fucking each other's brains out.

After a half-hour long, super hot and intense make out session, they were pretty much creating a new ocean, but we're not going to talk about that. A white toyota prius pulls up, those damn things am i right?

The person driving the car calls out, "Are you two Mr. Kirishima and Mr. Bakugo?"

Kirishima shouts back, seductively, "No, he's actually Mrs. Kirishima," as he got down on one knee and pulled out a ring while passionately admiring Bakugo in the light of the setting sun.

The person driving the car loudly replied, "Oh sorry, my mistake," and drove off. Kirishima realized his stupidity only after the uber had disappeared  from eyesight. 

Though when all hope seemed lost, Tomura Shigaraki pulled up in a tricycle, but he was wearing a nice yellow sun hat with flowers on top, so both Kirishima and Bakugo were completely oblivious to the like, 14 extra hands all over Shigaraki's body.

Shigaraki screamed out in his ear-bleeding, raspy voice, "Are you Mr. and Mrs. Kirishima?"

Kirishima excitedly replied, "Why yes we are!!" and just sat on a wheel I guess, while signaling for Bakugo to follow. I'm calling him Bakugo still because its easy, sue me.

After an extremely surprisingly short time of pedaling, the three had arrived at the dorms, though it was extremely late at night, obviously. The door was locked, but the lights in the common area were on. The three looked through one of the many windows on the outside and saw Deku with Todoroki straddling his lap, the both of them making out with each other with extreme lustfulness. Get a room you two little stupids. Such lack of class am I right?

Deku got the extreme boyfriend senses and ran straight to the door, knocking Todoroki off of his lap, onto the table, breaking it, with that force being so much to throw him into a couch, splitting that in half as well, which catapulted him into the other couch, just causing it to explode, with foam and stuffing getting EVERYWHERE. And blood. I don't think anyone could really survive that kind of...experience.

As the door swung open, Bakugo was slammed into the ground, gently of course. Deku looked at Kirishima with fear in his eyes. "Its not what it looks like, Kirishima"

But it was too late. Kirishima was hurt. "I thought you liked my full head of red hair, not Todoroki's half red half white baby's ass looking ugly shit"

"Its not what it looks like," Deku had defensively said back to Kirishima, knowing that he had been caught cheating with Todoroki. Of all people.

Shigaraki, hornily watching the scene unfold before him, chose to say at this time, of all times, "This is getting pretty heated, we should all just fuck," to which Deku screamed back, while aggressively crying, "NO WAY DUDE, KIRISHIMA'S DICK LOOKS LIKE A POLYMER ERASER :( !!"

Kirishima was so hurt by what Deku had said about him that he just melted into the ground.

Shigaraki was so entertained by the exploded Todoroki, Deku crying on the floor in a fetus position, Bakugo out cold on the floor, and the Kirishima puddle, that his hat just fell off.

Suddenly Todoroki was alive, Kirishima was unmelted, Bakugo just stood up, and Deku just made the tears fully evaporate from sheer emotion. 

Shigaraki knew he was going to die so he just blasted off, like team rocket, never to be seen again.

Until next chapter, at least.