Random bnha lemon one shots (trust me when i say random)

Kenji Tsuragamae x Sero

(Kenji is the dog police guy)

As Kenji had finally finished setting up his brand new online dating profile on Shpinder, he met someone named Hanta Sero, who was suspiciously exactly 18 years old. Kenji wasn't going to let his first tapejob go to waste though, so he arranged for them to meet at Del Taco, the home of fre sha voc a do, at 3am. Don't try this at home, kids.
Kenji thought he was smelling trouble, but he dismissed it, and just said to himself, "Ah, it's probably just the teenage booty I get to ruin soon." Little did he know that that teenage booty was also underage teenage booty.
As Sero was awaiting his knight in shining dog fur, his senses hightened as his right triangle nose picked up the scent of dog shit and loneliness. Mostly loneliness though.
As Kenji was scanning the area, he finally noticed the only fucking person in the sitting area. How the hell did either of them even fucking get in there? Don't they close at like, midnight?
Sero stood up so he could greet his daddy, but his clumsy ass fell onto the greasy floor. Again.
Kenji's heart was beating out of his chest as he saw the 1 inch erect child penis through Sero's tight leather miniskirt. The idiocy of Sero only made him sexier too, because if he couldn't even fucking stand up with his ugly ass 6 inch platform black thigh high boots, then he definitely couldn't run in them. It's the perfect opportunity to carry out some..."business."
Sero was seductively laid out on the dirty ass floor, clothes already half off due to the pure horniness of the situation. Sero is a cripple now.
He spread his legs out when he felt something in between them. Then he felt pain. Extreme pain. It was like some ugly ass crusty bitch whore was emerging from both his asshole and pisshole. Well unfortunately, his time was up. Shigaraki had finally gone through the full digestion cycle.
Kenji watched this all happen. Aw yeah, a threesome.
Sero was screaming now. "OH MAN BRO. THIS IS MORE PAINFUL THAN PEEING WITH A BONER." Shigaraki just kept coming out, each of his halves having that stupid ass smile he always has on his ugly fucking face. Sero was now realizing that he should always wait for his previous vore partner to emerge from his micro peepee and nearly prolapsed ass hole before he searched for another.
Once Shigaraki had been fully rebirthed, his halves wiggled a bit before piecing himself together again. Kinda like how snakes have sex. Did you know they like, twist together to do that; And male snakes have two penises. Weird stuff.
Kenji was in orgasmic pleasure as this scene unfolded before him, now that he knew his monster condom for him magnum dong would no longer be needed, as there were no yucky femoids that could be bred like mindless bitches. No offense. Also I'm not an incel, just a writer.
Sero dead. Shigaraki's crusty ass skin and dummy thiccness proved to be too much for the tape boy. If only he had used the lotion on his ashy elbows.
Kenji did the honors of burying Sero, but by that he meant to find some dude on the street who looked enough like him and bury him instead. Its Japan, they all look the same anyways. Sero's body was kept in Kenji's freezer for some casual, 29-times-a-day sex. Until he used Sero's foreskin in his famous bacon and cheese fries, and let me tell you, Sero's foreskin was not the bacon or the fries. Thankfully Kenji's family didn't notice.
Sero's foreskin was just the tip of the iceberg. Kenji started sucking on his teeth and eyes, sticking the toes up his doggy asshole. The pinky was his favorite because of how it curved.
It was the end now. All he had left was the asshole. He opened the freezer, gun in hand. He was going to kill himself once he finished the ass. "WHAT THE FRICK FRACK ARE YOU DOING WITH MY SNICK SNACK?" Shigaraki looked up at Kenji's erect cucumber and then literally inhaled the asshole.
Two gunshots were heard that night.