"So tell me about you, I don't really know much" I lie. A pit in my stomach forms indicating that my guilt has yet again returned.
"What do you want to know, Evangeline?" He questions, pursing his lips into an upright smirk not breaking eye contact.
"Actually," he continues "funny story, kind of, I guess. My ex, her name was Angeline" he stops to clear his throat unknowingly contemplating what to say or do next, so he plays with his fingers, intertwining them and looping his thumbs around each other repeatedly.
I knew that. Vaguely. I know his ex's name was Angeline and I mentally cursed myself for practically having that name except with EV at the beginning. I wonder if it makes him uncomfortable, for him to know that his ex and I share a similar name. I could only imagine it would, and I hope that it doesn't interfere with future events that may or may not take place.
The look on his face is one of disappointment and almost heartbreak, as if his feelings for her may still linger and his heart hasn't quite recovered.
"Was it serious?" I question. Genuinely curious as he really doesn't discuss her that much in his everyday life. But then again, why would he? He's now in some kind of trance with Lana, I painfully remind myself and sigh. This broken hearted boy sitting in front of me is possibly one of the best people I know.
He's kind, and he's caring and best of all, he's genuine. Believe me when I say what you see really is what you get, minus a few in depth details.
He nods with his eyes gazing in his lap to answer my question. I feel a glimpse of pity and sympathy for him. He deserves the world and truly is receiving anything but.
I try to push him further.
"What happened?"
"We just couldn't fix what was broken" he shrugs, piercing my eyes with intimidating stare.
"We were talking everyday but just running out of things to say to each other. I guess it would've been easier to stay but it just wouldn't be the same. Our exchanges of 'i love you' just wasn't the same either, like it was empty. You know?"
I nod my head. Because really, I do. My first boyfriend, Cameron, treated me like garbage and regardless of his attempts to express what he thought was love for me, I could never reciprocate it after his threats to be with other people during arguments. Despite that, I apologise in attempts to express my sincerity.
He swivels his body to now sit besides me rather than face me directly.
"Enough about me" he chuckles and it's music to my ears. I could listen to that sound forever, I think.
"Tell me about you, what about your love life?" He asks. "Have you had a boyfriend?" His eyebrows raise as if he's mentally asking himself why I wouldn't.
"Yeah I have" I answer him, though he demands more. He urges me to elaborate by extending his arm and rotating his hand, so I continue.
"My first offical boyfriend and I were together for 3 offical months but were kind of exclusive without a label for 6. I don't know if that counts for anything though"
He blinks and flutters his eyelashes while nodding his head.
"We broke up because I lost feelings for him after being treated like crap and he would basically threaten to go be with other girls whenever we argued. I ended things and he told me I was the reason why he had trust issues. Whatever that's supposed to mean" I pause to take a breath in between my rapid speech. Talking about it makes me nervous.
"Later on he decided to go and hook up with my friend and justified that by claiming he didn't owe me anything since I broke up with him.
Noah's mouth gapes and he takes a sharp breath and shakes his head.
"Wow" he states, he's shocked.
"That guys a dick. You deserve better"
His voice is barely audible.
"To add onto the pile, my next kind of, fling? If you call it. We were like seeing each other but made it clear we didn't want each of us to be with anyone else"
He nods understandingly, fixated on my facial expression of confusion and hurt as I explain myself.
"Um.. yeah that was for a few months and then he, Jace, went to a party and hooked up with some random girl" I'm looking around the library for something else to concentrate on besides Noah's strong gaze on me.
"He said that if I was there it wouldn't have happened and he wouldn't have cheated I guess. I kind of have a bad history with guys. I care too much, it's kind of a problem" Noah's slightly frowning at the end of my sentence.
"That's not a problem, at all, Lina"
I feel his hand grasp mine in an attempt to comfort me, but all he's doing is antagonising me more, knowing that this could never work and I'd just add him to the list of things that never went my way.
My hazel green eyes look down at his hand places over mine. It is warm and full of affection.
"They didn't deserve you, or your endearment" his thumb brushes against the side of my hand in a comforting manner making me feel stable.
"Well who does then?" I snap, frankly wanting an answer to my question. Being treated unwell is nothing foreign to me and I find myself wondering I get to be with somebody who will finally treat me the way I deserve.
AN// sorry for the late update I've been feeling so uninspired lately 😩
Hope you enjoyed and if you did please feel free to vote :)
YOU ARE READING
breathe ; noah centineo
Fanfiction"I'm surprised you don't already know" He rebuts. His voice grows huskier while his head lowers as he crosses his arms over his chest. I raise both of my eyebrows in an attempt to convince him that I don't. "Should I?" I question. My voice heightens...
