breathe ; noah centineo

5

The air was cool and the room grew silent.

My breath hitched in my throat as we peered in closer to each other.
Boy was I nervous.
I'd only kissed one guy! That being my ex boyfriend.

But even then, he was a bad kisser and instantly lead with tongue which was sloppy and turned me off.

I wondered what he was like.
Gentle? Slow? Passionate? Time would tell.

Time was now.

Noah and I were neck and neck by this point. One small movement and we'd collide.

Moves were made. But not the ones I'd hoped for.

He shifts back, positioning himself with his back leaning on the couch for support and his head tilted up onto the cushion.

He sighs, and loudly.
He just rejected me.

I leap back with attempts to ponder on what just happened, and most importantly, where it went wrong.

My head falls down to meet my palms resting in my lap, circulating my face to tuck my hair behind my ears and away from my face.

Noah is in my peripheral vision, which allows me to subtly watch his movements undetected.

He begins crinkle his nose and tighten his lips before articulating his sincerity.
"I'm sorry," he pleads in a soft manner.
"I-I shouldn't have entertained that".

He emits a breath he'd evidently been holding in, though his eyes are kind and sympathetic.

I assure him that it's fine and offer a small smile. I couldn't be mad at him even if I tried.

Upset and disappointed? Sure. Mad? Never.

"Don't worry about it, Centineo. I get it. I can put two and two together."

My feet touch the floor as I begin to walk away and go to the only place I can alienate myself.

He likes Lana. I knew that and I went for it anyway, as if I was expecting some miracle to happen.

I rub my forehead and move to my temples before pushing my hair out of my face.

I rush down the stairs. Looks like the flight part of my stress response answered when my anxiety called.

Immediately he rushes to my aid.
Of course he did. He's Noah.
Charming, generous, kind-hearted, caring Noah.

"Woah, woah, woah" He grasps my arm, and is now standing one step below me but is still taller than I am.

"Please, don't follow me"
My hair flows over my face as I beg him to stay put. I put my head down, ashamed and continue down the stairs.

Still, he refuses and we wind up back in the same position as before. Except, now his hand tucks a strand of my chocolate brown hair behind my ear while my face still remains facing the direction of his feet at the bottom of the staircase.

"It's not that I don't want to... please, believe me."

I tilt my head upwards to meet his brown eyes filled with golden specks and explore his features.

I'd been so scared to make absolute eye contact with him that I never noticed just how many freckles he had. The cameras don't capture that quite well.
The summer sun emphasises them and makes them more prominent.

"Then, what is it?" I question, exhaling while resting my hand on the forearm of his that cups my face.

"We only just met, Lina" he continues.

"So far, you're great and absolutely beautiful. I just-" he pauses and exhales, looking around the room.

As he looks away blood rushes to my cheeks.

Beautiful?

"I just really don't wanna rush this and fuck it up". He's nervous and places emphasis on really. I can tell, because his brows furrow with concern in his eyes, uncertain of my response.

"Not to mention, uh, things with Lana are...complicated at the moment and I don't want to give you the wrong impression or lead you on, Lina"

"Okay" I say, empathising with his explanation. His rationality appeals to me and makes me admire him even more.

"If, and when, it's meant to be it'll be".
My smile is amiable, bringing to his awareness the affection I already hold towards him.

"Must have a thing for girls with the letter L huh?" I joke to lighten the mood.

I appreciate his cordial reasoning along with his values and morals. That's something I really did like about him. He knew how to treat people. Noah was good with his words. He was an optimist who always knew the right thing to say. Another thing I liked about him.

He shrugs.
"Plus," He humourously adds, "it's cool to be with somebody you have a connection with, rather than a random hookup".

I nod in agreement turning to face him.
He's a gentleman.

His face was soft, and pure.
Noah had a scar on his right cheek. I already knew the backstory behind it, but that didn't stop me from asking.

"What happened?" I enquire, placing my pointer finger on his scar. He intently observes me.

"A dog" he explains, swallowing roughly as if he's anxious for me to be so close to him.
"It bit me when I was around 6".

I pretend to wince in pain and cringe, stroking the scar.
"Ouch" I mutter.

I already knew that Noah.

"Yeah" he motions his head up and down, scratching the back of his neck.

"It was so bad that there was literally a hole through my cheek" he further describes his experience.

I pay attention to every meticulous detail he describes, soaking up every drop of information he feeds me.

I could listen to him talk all day and he had no idea. I know what he said, about not dating a fan. And I really did feel bad for telling him some half-truth, but if I were to be completely honest with him, it wouldn't be the same.

"You could see my teeth and everything!" He continues, completely amazed by the story every time he retells it.

Noah's facial expression resembles a child who is seeing Christmas lights for the very first time.

His mannerisms beguile me. There are certain little quirks he has that make you swoon in an instant.
For instance, he cocks his head back and lowers his voice when vulnerability consumes him.

"When it happened, I walked around pretending it was Halloween, and I was dressed up as a zombie to try and kinda ease the pain away"

That, I didn't know.

All I can do is warmly smile at the boy sitting across from me because of how mesmerised I am by him.
There was more to Noah than meets the eye and I wanted to know every single part of him that he was willing to share with me. Frankly, I felt honoured.

"That's really sweet" I inform him.
"You sounded like a cute kid" he grins.
"What on earth happened?"
He playfully nudges my arm while I crinkle my nose in contemplation and ruffle his dark curly hair, messing it up and gigging at the thought of engaging in a play fight. Which to my surprise, is exactly what ended up happening.