breathe ; noah centineo

8

My hand glides over Noah's wrist gently placing just enough pressure to remove it. At this moment I struggle to find a steady pace to breathe at and my voice is hitched in my throat.

It's evident that Noah never ceases to amaze me when he questions why.

"You know why" I reply.

His reasoning is logical and it's clear that he's aware when he lowers his head in disappointment and nods at the same time.

His hand is removed from my cheek and I find myself curious as to what time it is, wondering when the clock will strike midnight to indicate the beginning of a new year.

My feet travel along the sable floorboards with the occasional creak until i'm looking at the clock. It's already 11pm, so there is an hour until the December 31st changes to the beginning of January 2019. The year has gone so fast, it's strange. But I made it.

"It's nearly midnight" I say, bringing it to his awareness that it's almost time to start the new year. It's odd to think that in some way, I'll be starting it with Noah.

"Oh" is all he manages to get out, likes he's upset.

"What's your favourite holiday of the year?" I question. I'm desperate to alleviate the awkward tension between us. I don't want the time I have left to go to waste.

"Christmas I think" he pauses before beginning again. "It's a nice holiday that brings family and people together in general. There's a mad feed and there's nothing better than spending time with loved ones."

His eyes glimmer as if they are ethereal. It makes me regret not kissing him when I had the chance to, but I know it would only make things complicated for him at the moment. I want him to want it when his head is clear, not clouded by a potential new or old flame.

"Yeah, that must be nice. Do you have a big family?" My family is small. I only have my parents, my grandmother and my sister. In reality, I have aunts and uncles along with dozens of cousins and an additional sister, but we don't speak, so I stick to my immediate family.

Noah begins to elaborate. "Sort of", he makes a clicky noise when the suction between his cheek and teeth is broken. "My parents and my sister are kind of the only people I have". I can relate. "I don't really keep in contact with any others". Go figure, me neither.

"That must be tough. Do you... wanna talk about it?" I think it would be a nice offer.

He shakes his head declining it.

"Not really, thank you though. You're really kind and that's sweet of you". He replaces his disapproving head shake with a warm smile. "What about you?" he nudges my shoulder.

I don't even have to think.
"New year's eve, hands down" Noah's eyes narrow becoming darker. "The concept of moving onto a new year with endless possibilities is so extraordinary and it gives you the opportunity to move past trauma and adversity that happened in the year you're leaving behind."

His stare is fixated on me with a coy smile. "That's very optimistic and philosophical" he applauds me, clapping his hands. "I've never thought of it like that before. You are something else Miss Cojocaru."

My nose crinkles and I slightly cringe at the sound of my last name leaving his mouth, but laugh at the same time.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that" our laughs have merged together by now, and I can't help but hold my vision of sight on his mesmerising smile. His teeth are a shade of pearly white and the way in which his nose scrunches up out of pure happiness beguiles me. I'm completely enchanted by him.

We've reverted to one of our original positions, sitting with our backs leaning against the couch with Noah on my left and being so close that our shoulders are touching. It seems sudden and possibly deluded, but it's as if our, or at least my first instinct is to be as close as possible to him. It's a peculiar feeling, because i'm so used to desiring as much space from people as possible. Literally and figuratively.

Noah notices i've been staring and pushes his hair back off of his forehead. "What?" he softly questions, coming down from high buzz of laughter.

"It's nothing" I offer a genuine smile, happy to be in this moment with him.
"You just have a really nice smile" my eyes are locked on his and i'd do anything to see it everyday for the rest of my life. But I don't tell him that.
We keep having these moments that go nowhere, but i'd rather have them with Noah than anybody else and if this is all that I can get, then i'll be damned if I don't take it.

The sound of the clock striking a new hour illuminates the hall with a loud thud as I turn away from Noah to gaze upon it.

"Fuck it" he whispers. I turn my head with a confused look and furrowed brows.

His hand has returned to my cup cheek to turn my attention to him and before I can ask him what he's doing, he's leaning in and his lips are upon mine. I'm engulfed in a mixture of his soft, plump lips and the sour aftertaste of the whiskey we had consumed earlier playing never have I ever.

I'm confused and astounded as to what the hell is going on, but instead of overthinking it for once I just go with it. I might as well not ruin this moment for myself like every other one, because if he's kissing me it must mean it's because he wants to. Not that he's obligated to in any way.

I reciprocate the delicate kiss and I could swear that i've fallen even more in awe of him. There was nothing to worry about. It's nothing like the make out sessions between my first boyfriend and I. It's soft and tender, full of affection instead of lust.

My eyes are still closed as our foreheads touch but when we pull away they begin to flutter open when I raise my hand for my fingers to caress my lips.

A hard gulp has managed its way down my throat as he gawks at me. I'm unsure of what to do as he remains to flicker between my eyes and my parted mouth.

I'm nervous and begin to giggle.
"Um, w-what was that for?" I ask, unsure if I really want an answer or not.

"You said you'd let me judge how good a kisser you are, remember?" he's smirking now. How did the tables turn from me trying to seduce Noah to him seducing me?

Instead of immediately replying I just keep giggling. My nerves are so prominent that I feel like i'm going to throw up on him, but I can't stop laughing, using my hands to cover my face.

"So what's the verdict, Sir?" who am I and who has taken over my brain?

Noah leans forward and I start to lower my eyes thinking that he's going to try to kiss me again. Instead, he whispers, "I'm not quite sure. I think I need another kiss to make my mind up".

AN// thought i'd include a cute little new year's eve chapter considering its new year's eve where i live! hope you enjoyed and if you did feel free to vote or comment to let me know your thoughts 🥰