No Honor Among Thieves

Chapter 3 - "Not too harsh, just realistic."

At the canteen, the three of them sits in a table in the corner.

"Listen," Elle starts. "I know it's a bit late in the school year to ask you this but..." she pauses. "What's your name?"

"Your real name, please," Rodrick adds.

"Jason. That's my real name. I'd really appreciate it if you guys won't tell anybody else."

"How come nobody knows about it?" Elle asks at which Rodrick nods.

"Because nobody wants to know or cares enough to ask."

Rodrick creases his brows, "What about back in the classroom, when Henry asked for your name?"

"He didn't asked because he cared or wanted to. He asked because he needed a name, a name to talk about as this 'case', if we may call it, is still open."

Elle and Rodrick speaks in unison, "That'd make sense."

"I don't want everyone to only remember me when they're in need of something." He taps his index on the table three times like the tick-tock of a wall clock. "Let's see if anybody would still ask for my name after this case."

"Alright then. Uh..." Elle pauses, perhaps thinking of what else to talk about.

Rodrick got there first. "What made you want to help Maria?"

Jason swallows the apple in his mouth before answering. "Well, because she's our classmate, and I'd like to try applying everything I've learned to solve this problem: deductive reasoning; body language, if it would help at all; and catching liars." He then places the apple core on his side of the table.

Out of curiosity, Rodrick asks, "Where'd you learn those?"

"Psychology books, police manuals, and the likes."

"Hmm. Alright." Elle says with a sly smile.

Jason, sensing that Elle might be misreading the situation, asks, "What? What is it?"

"You don't do it at all because you like her?" Elle straightforwardly answers his question, and Jason does too.

"No, of course not."

He adds, "Besides, no one would like me as much as I like them, if I like them at all."

Rodrick slightly raises his hand like a shy student who wants to recite in class. "I'm not a psychic, psychologist, therapist or anything, but why am I feeling that you're being too harsh on yourself?"

Jason shakes his head lightly. "I'm not being too harsh, just realistic." The three of them goes silent, with Rodrick and Elle softly looking at Jason, who stares blankly at the empty center of the small, square table.

"I mean, uh... If I..." He stops for a while and takes a steady inhale before continuing. "If I could see myself through her eyes, I'd be... disappointed as well."

"Why?" Elle asks. "I mean, why would any girl be disappointed?" At this point, Rodrick places a hand on her right shoulder and gently reels her in for a whisper, a whisper that Jason could still hear.

"Not just any girl. 'Her'. Someone specific. It is or was someone special to him." Then they part again.

Jason speaks, "She still is special to me. I don't know if she even sees anything special in me, because honestly, there's nothing interesting in me anyway."

His eyes, as his companions could notice, are starting to well up. Rodrick excuses himself and says, "I'm gonna buy us some drinks."

Jason continues. "I'm not sure why, but... but I don't expect her to love me the same way I still love her."

"Well..." Elle, having the feeling that she has to say something probably because she's the only woman in the table, says "I'm sure that despite all your imperfections, she still loves you."

Jason clicks his tongue. "I have a long list of imperfections, though. I hope she can stand that."

"If she truly loves you, she will."

Jason lightly nods and softly sniffs. "Thanks. I could finally clear my head about it." The words are said with no signs of joy or relief. He said it just... blankly.

Elle takes a sigh of relief, thinking she actually ended his problems and worrying, when in fact she ended something else.

"She doesn't talk to me anymore, she just walks away or past me every time I try talking to her. She won't even listen to me at all, like she's already burnt the bridges." He continues with a blank emotion and eyes continuing to fill. "Like you said, if she truly loves me, she'd still stand by me despite my imperfections."

He adds, "Except she doesn't. Not anymore, at least."

It was at this moment that the well could hold no longer any more water, so it began to overflow and a tear escapes, leaving behind a trail of pain and sorrow on his right cheek.

He doesn't emotionally break down like every person who cries: bawling, whining, or anything that draws attention; instead, he keeps his posture, slows his breathing down, and stares blankly.

Elle could barely form any word because she knows that Jason is referring to what she said before.

He continues. "Her? Her imperfections? I'm willing to help her fix it if she wants me to. And if not, I'm willing to let it slide." He takes a breath. "But me? She's been killing me everyday for my imperfections and mistakes and shortcomings."

Despite how painful it sounds, he says all this with his blank tone and a steady breathing, but his tear still lies on his cheek and his heart still beating against his chest.

"If her words could inflict pain, how much more could her silence? She's been killing me with it. I've been trying to fix it, but she won't let me; I've been trying to apologize, but she won't hear me out."

Elle finally managed to construct a sentence, one she doesn't finish. "Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"It's why I need this case. I need something to make me forget, at least for a while."

He then takes a handkerchief from his pocket and wipes the tear off as he sees Shaira and Maria headed towards their table, with Rodrick close behind. "Here we go."