warnings : self-loathing and suicidal thoughts.
the idea of herself to die;
it has always been on her mind.
she always feels like she's at the bottom of everything,
and she'll never learn how to fly.
she only wants to feel happy.
but her mind is a place where everything is gloomy.
during the month of december,
when the sky feels somber,
the only words that she remembers
are words of despair.
words of discouragement
that didn't come from any other person—
but just from herself.
she describes her reflection
as a girl who'll never become happy with herself.
negativity fills her mind
‘cause she still feels like at the bottom right corner
as if she cannot escape an invisible border.
a border trapping her in her unfathomable insecurities.
everyday, while looking in the mirror,
she talks to herself alone.
questioning why on earth
can't she feel beautiful.
“ how am i supposed to love myself if everything about me is unlovable?
i don't know, i tried everything, yet i still feel so vulnerable.
tell me, how am i supposed to be happy
if i can't change myself into what others want me to be?
i can't, society's standards have grown in me.
i don't have the body that everyone
in social media is talking about.
i have lost all my confidence
and everyday i doubt.
but i'm still hoping that someday,
someone will come
and take my sadness away.
someone who will make me happy in their own little way,
and make me feel enough even just for a day. ”
YOU ARE READING
𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 , poetry
Poetry𝗣𝗢𝗘𝗧𝗥𝗬 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗔 𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗧𝗟𝗘 𝗕𝗜𝗧 𝗢𝗙 𝗖𝗢𝗙𝗙𝗘𝗘, 𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗙𝗘𝗖𝗧 𝗦𝗖𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗬. ━━ To write is to pour one's soul into paper by means of ink. Or in modern cases, by means of a keyboard. Nonetheless, it is through writi...
