Hi, I just thought maybe I could share this realization.
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I'm not that person who gets scared of cats, dogs, and cockroaches. I'm not that person who gets scared of the dark or the bathrooms or the hallways. I'm not that girl who gets scared that much but I'm still human and I have my own fears. I was in the car with some friends, spacing out. Then, I realized why. I realized why I seemed to be open to others. Open for others to read me. Open for them to know me before I even speak. I have my best friends but why? Why do I still want to be with others? It hit me. It hit me like a bullet. I'm scared. I'm just scared. I'm scared of the truth, the reality. I'm scared to wake up with no one by my side. I'm scared. I'm scared that my friends will leave me. I'm just scared to be alone. Afraid. But then, relationships are about trust. It's about taking risk on who to trust. I remind myself that and I thank God for my best friends. I've always been that quiet and shy type of girl but not anymore. Not anymore and that changed when I didn't want to be left alone. I'm afraid that my best friends would just vanish, gone. I'm afraid that in my darkest hours, they won't be with me. Most of all, I'm scared of losing them but this is life, reality. I trust my best friends and I put my trust on God. I know it'll hurt if I lose any of them but then I know that God is with me. I've had friends but none of which I tell my secrets but now I have three. They're more than enough. They're the people I go to when I have problems. I know that maybe a lot are annoyed because I'm hyper or always smiling but I'd rather feel happiness and joy with my friends than sulk and think of the worst case scenarios. To my best friends, as long as our friendship lasts, I treasure and will treasure every second of your company. As long as we can fight, I will hold on tight to each one of you. And I hope that "as long as" stays forever. I have my fears but I won't let it defeat me and ruin me especially because I'm with my best friends and God. <3
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Inspired
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