The Conspiration of The Universe (Published under Cloak Pop Fiction)

Fourth: The Trigger (35-36)

35

(page 113 of 126)

                  A mistake. I had a mistake. Every day, every hour we have to make a choice. Most of the time, the effect of our choices we had are so small that we may continue on our lives without thinking the effect of choosing the other. I had a choice but I chose the wrong one. But falling in love with Eureka was not wrong.

                  Eureka was gone, for real. My shirt that she was wearing last night remained in my bed but all of her was gone. As soon as I realized what I have done tears gushed out of my eyes. I remembered saying that sometimes the world shall approve that it’s okay to cry and this is those moments. I knew that this is coming and I thought I was prepared for this but I was so wrong. No one could be prepared for someone’s inexistence. I let more tears fall as I remember her contagious laugh, her wittiness, all of her.

                  “Eureka,” I called out wishing that she could hear me. “Eureka, you promised me! You said you’re not going anywhere. Eureka, please answer me!” I couldn’t move my body, maybe because I don’t have enough strength to do so. “Eureka,” I moaned.

                  Then, I remembered the night we lay down at the bridge, the moments where she told me that some beautiful things are not easily seen or captured, that I should look harder so I could see one. Now, I knew what she meant by that. She is beautiful and its shameful that I easily gave up on her. “I’m sorry, Eureka.”

                  I wiped off the tears from my face and quickly changed my clothes then head off. I walked as fast as I could because I can feel that if I do I could still catch her, that she won’t slip through my fingers any more. I briefly checked We Deliver restaurant but she was unfortunately not there. Then I head to her apartment but the guard reported that she hasn’t seen Eureka since last night.  I walked further to the Library, the bridge, then lastly to the freedom park but she was nowhere to be found. I feel like crying and shouting at the Universe and ask it why do this to me? Why would you give me happiness and take it away? Then I realized I was in the freedom park so nobody should care if I do. “Eureka!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. “Eureka! Where are you? You said you’ll never forget so where are you? Why have you left me?” my voice got weaker and weaker.

                  My mind pursues to keep up the search for her but my feet stupidly gave up after long hours of walking into unknown destinations and I somewhat winded up back to my apartment. Still thinking positively, I hoped Eureka was in our theoretical couch, sitting and waiting for me to come back but she was not there. I walked disappointedly to my room and was surprise that Matt was there, sitting on my bed. He was holding a familiar blue book and that’s when I could take no more. I kneeled as I was slowly diminishing hope and bowed my head so I could help myself hide my tears but it was no use. My tears were caught up in my glasses like raindrops on window pane. 

                  “Luke,” he kneeled in front of me and grabbed my shoulders. I did my best to look at him in the eyes but I couldn’t. I’m scared and messed up and Matt could see me so weak. “I’m so sorry, Luke. It’s my fault.” I heard him snivel so I looked up and he was crying too but he was smiling as if it could negate his sadness. That’s when I have finally concluded that the world, my world approves of my misery.

                  “No, why would it be your fault? If you just knew, it’s all my fault. I kissed her and it was the trigger.” I asked him, snivelling.

                  “No it’s my fault, if I was here, maybe I could have stop you.” he punched away the tears.

                  “No, Matt. No one’s to blame here.” I concluded. If we let ourselves be buried by thinking that we caused this, then I don’t think we have a future to look forward to.