always have been, always will be | jensoo

Girls Don't Like Boys

"Jisoo, you have really got to lay off those scary movies."

This is the second time this week she's crawled into my bed, curled up against me, and murmured something about Leatherface being outside her window.

"I like 'em..." She tells me sleepily, and I just sigh, rolling over and wrapping a friendly arm around her so she is't so scared.

"I know, but you just aren't as tough as you think." My voice has a teasing edge to it, and I see Jisoo open her eyes to me in the dark. It's a school night, we've got a day full of eighth grade classes tomorrow, but I don't mind talking.

Especially when she's this close to me. We've always been close to each other, cuddlers in every sense of the word and not afraid to mold ourselves to each other. But it's been so different lately. I'm afraid to think why.

"You'll always protect me though." Jisoo begins rubbing her fingers lightly up and down my shoulder absentmindedly. "Always have. Leatherface is no match for you."

"Not even close." I huff bravely, and Jisoo just stifles a giggle of hers straight into my neck. I take a deep breath, fighting a smile in the dark. She doesn't know what she does to me anymore. Everything is different, and I'm not sure she knows it yet.

Our bodies changed over those three long middle school years. Jisoo grew up long over the summer before eight grade. Her hair got even darker, if that's possible, and she's gotten a lot better at putting on makeup. She's gorgeous, and even if I've always known it, others are starting to notice it, too.

But I don't think people notice the way I blush, just a tiny bit, when she grabs my hand to lead me somewhere, just like she's done forever. Or how I have to force myself to look away everytime we peel our clothes off in front of each other, something we've never been shy about doing. Or tonight, how I had to thank the darkness for hiding my grinning face when she slid into bed next to me, a move she's done about a million times now, or when she scooted up close to me and I could tell, just tell, she needed to be comforted.

We read each other like a book with well worn pages, know each other like the backs of our own eyelids, and I'm frightened that she's going to notice the way I look at her before I have a chance to figure it out.

She presses a tired kiss into my cheek and she's asleep before I can even close my eyes.

The first night in my new apartment was uneventful, if not enjoyable. No sound of creaky dorm pipes waking me up, no trampling of loud feet out in the hallway. I knew I would love living in my large, if almost bare, apartment.

I woke up with a slight stomach ache, having devoured countless slices of pizza and enjoying more than quite a few beers. Jiyeon had already gone, I think to her opening shift at the coffee shop, leaving me with a cramped belly, cold pizza, and my own thoughts.

I wandered the halls of my new apartment for a while, savoring the smell and look of things, before settling back onto my bed.

I reached out and pulled the drawer open before I knew what I was doing. The picture of Jisoo was just an okay one. It makes me think I should have saved a better capture. She's caught off guard in the middle of our tenth grade english class, staring quizzically at the camera. I laughed at her when I took it, telling her she should pay more attention to class. She was offended for only a second before I kissed her quickly on the forehead and promised her I was kidding.

I chose to believe she just liked my kisses, as I don't think she was that offended by my comment.

She was getting bolder. As kids, we bit each other's cheeks, blew raspberries into the other's stomach, wrestled like crazy. As we got a bit older, these things gave way to more subtle maneuvers. We kissed cheeks, we pressed lips to foreheads and held hands, wrestling gave way to snuggling each other like pillows.