always have been, always will be | jensoo

Imperfect Fit

My phone rings, again. I fight the urge to throw it across the room and instead press it loosely to my ear. "Jesus Christ, Mom, I said I was thinking about it!"

"Thinking about what?"

Jisoo's voice makes my eyes pop wide open. "I'm so sorry, Jisoo. I thought you were my Mom. She's been blowing me up all morning."

Jisoo chuckles. "That's okay. Did I wake you up?"

I sit up, cracking my back and stifling a yawn. "Not even a little. What's up?" I enjoy the fact that she called me, only a single day later, immensely.

"Well, you know, Soojin getting into town today."

"Yeah..."

"I think it would be really great if she could meet you."

I gulp. "Um, why, exactly?"

"I mean, if you don't want to, that's fine, I just thought, maybe - "

"Jisoo." I stop her before she can go on. That girl can ramble. "I would love to meet her."

"Really?" Her voice brightens considerably.

"Sure. If you want me to, I want to."

"Thanks, Jennie. This means so much to me, you don't even know."

"Even though I don't have to approve of her, right, Jichu?" I smile into my pillow.

"Although, hopefully, you do." She says, softly. "And I know it's a long drive out here, so I'll totally give you gas money if - "

"Now you're just being silly." I stop her right there. "I'll see you in a few hours, okay?"

"Okay." I can hear the smile in her voice.

"Goodbye, Jisoo."

"See you soon."

"What is your problem today, Jisoo? Jeez." I flop down on my stomach next to her in bed.

"I'm in a bad mood."

"Tell me something I don't know, Sherlock."

She gives me a dirty look, and I soften. "Okay. Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

"Yes." She buries her face in her pillow.

"Then...shoot."

"I don't think I should."

I can tell by the tone of her voice what this is about, and I don't press her further. I know better now and I've gotten better at this game. I just reach out and run a finger along her eyebrow. "That's fine."

Summer before eleventh grade, and things have been like this for a long time. "Do you ever feel like..." Jisoo begins, then shakes her head. "Nevermind."

"No, no. It's okay, Button. Just talk to me."

Jisoo looks at me and appears troubled, then sits up. I do as well, patting her back. "Or don't talk to me. We can just sit here."

"Things are just getting to me lately."

"I know how you feel." I tell her with a half smile.

"You don't." She says, and there's no maliciousness or anger in her voice. She's just stating a fact in a quiet voice. "You probably understand more than anyone, but you don't know..." Her eyes cloud over with something I can't quite place, and then she leans down and places her head in my lap, asking for comfort.

I do this for her the best I can, snaking my fingers through her hair. "You're right. I don't. But I'm always here for you when you do feel like you're going crazy. Because I know how that is."