always have been, always will be | jensoo

Necessary Roughness

I'm sitting on Jisoo's couch, feeling completely overdressed in my tight black dress, and I'm already hating my shoes.

But what's making me feel the worst is watching Jinyoung stealing kisses while attaching her corsage. She looks absolutely gorgeous, I think it's actually making my chest constrict a little.

Mrs. Kim snapping pictures of them like crazy, and it's true, they both look so happy and attractive together. The only way they could be a cuter couple is if Jinyoung were me. I chuckle inwardly at this thought as Jinwoo plops down beside me.

"I think I have to pin this on you or something." He shows me a flowery corsage. I make a face at it, and he laughs. "Yeah, I don't know how to put it on either."

I've always gotten along with Jinwoo well. Jisoo didn't want me to have to go by myself, and Jinwoo was readily availabe to be my date for the night. It's sort of like going to a dance with your older brother, but I don't mind. "Eh, it didn't match my dress anyways." I fidget. "I can't wait to get out of this freakin' thing."

"You look pretty." Jinwoo offers halfheartedly. I know I look undeniably hot, but I just shrug.

"Jisoo looks really nice." I say, glancing at her. She's smoothing out Jinyoung's collar for him. Jinwoo stares at them.

"Yeah. She does." Jinwoo agrees. "And Jinyoung, man, he's just sexy."

This earns a laugh from me, and I poke Jinwoo in the ribs with my elbow. "Maybe Jinyoung and I should switch dates..."

I think Jinwoo can hear it in my voice. The sadness. He just wraps a sympathetic arm around me. "You'll get your dance, Jen."

I think Jinwoo always knew, and that just hurt more. I looked at Mrs. Kim, and she was beaming with happiness. I loved Mrs, Kim, she'd done a lot for me. But I can't help but wonder, if she was different...maybe things would be different. I can hardly bare to resent someone I grew up calling my second Mom.

"Jennie, Jinwoo. Come get in the picture. We need one of the whole gang." Mrs. Kim waves us over and Jinwoo helps me up. The dress it tricky.

I squeeze in between Jisoo and Jinwoo, wrapping my arm around both.

"Oh! Out of film. Be back in two seconds, kids." Mrs. Kim makes a beeline for the drawer in the kitchen.

"My smile's gettin' stale!" Jinwoo yells after her.

"Your smile's been stale, bro."

Jinwoo leans over to smack Jinyoung in the back of the head, thankfully, and Jisoo takes that opportunity to press her lips into my ear. "You look stunning."

I shiver, and then Jisoo wraps her arm loosely around my waist. I'm still blushing in the picture.

I've been staring at this napkin for a long time now. The address is somewhere in the area of the town we grew up in, about a two hour drive. With Seoul traffic, maybe longer.

Lying flat on my back, I grope a hand over to my dresser, opening the drawer an fumbling for the picture. It's not there.

For a second I am alarmed, then I remember that I ripped it up, tore it into a million peaces. It didn't make me feel any better and now I've lost the only picture I had of her. I shut my eyes tightly, bringing her face to memory, and I know I have to see her.

"You're gonna go to her, aren't you?" Jiyeon's voice invades my thoughts. "You're so predictable."

"I'm not." I crumple the napkin and throw it on a table in a show of false bravado, glaring at her.