𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 ✰ jenzie

{fourteen}

Just wrap me in your arms,
I don't wanna be nowhere else
Take me from the dark, from the dark
I ain't gonna make it myself
Put your arms around me
Let your love surround me
I am lost

- NF, Britt Nicole, "Can You Hold Me"

k e n z i e

"Why did you want to do it?" Johnny asks gently, brushing my hair away from my face to wipe away a tear.

"Why shouldn't I?" I whisper, avoiding his glance. He sits me down onto my bed, and lifts my chin for my eyes to meet his. Johnny waits patiently for me to go on.

"I believed what you told me. I really did. It's easy to not care about what other people think of me. But when they're the people you trusted most..." My gaze drops again, and I let the tears fall silently. "I thought he loved me. I thought I could trust him. It's not even that he kissed Annie and I liked him. I don't know if I do, or did. But he acted like he loved me. He told me he did. And he broke it. Just like that."

Johnny nods. "I know."

He takes a deep breath and runs his hand through his hair shakily. "But you scared me so bad. If I had come 10 seconds later..."

"I'm sorry." I hug my arms and look away. "I wasn't thinking straight. But who would have missed me?"

"Everyone."

I shake my head. "They wouldn't."

There's a slight knock on the door, and Annie pokes her head in. "Can I?"

I nod slowly.

"I'm sorry. I know you and Hayden...and it just happened. I-I don't know what to say." Annie looks sorry. "I do care about you a lot."

Shrugging, I look away. "It's fine...I guess. You and Hayden can go screw each other. I don't care."

Annie comes a little closer to the bed. "I know you really do."

"When does anyone care about how I feel?" I demand, too harshly.

"I always have." Annie insists. "I seriously messed up. I know. I'm sorry."

"Okay, it's fine. I guess I know you care, but it's hard to believe it right now."

Annie nods and gives me a quick hug before leaving.

+++

"I'll take a peppermint hot chocolate with whipped cream on top," I say, fiddling with my coat sleeves.

"Green tea mocha," Johnny says, behind me. "And add 2 blueberry scones."

The barista nods and puts our orders into the computer.

"$22.17," she finally says.

"Geez louise," I mutter under my breath. I rest my hand on Johnny's arm and tug gently. "I forgot how expensive it is here. We can go somewhere else."

He smiles. "You said you liked it here, so here we are." He hands the barista his credit card, and she takes it.

I adjust my sunglasses uneasily. I could get recognized here. But then again, at Disneyland, I barely got noticed.

As if reading my thoughts, the barista looks at me as she hands Johnny his credit card back. "You're Mackenzie, aren't you."

I raise my eyebrows. "What- uh, yes..."

"Nice to meet you." She chuckles. "But this shouldn't be expensive for you, given your status as an artist..."

"Status?" I laugh, almost harshly. "It's not a good status, honey."