𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 ✰ jenzie

{twenty-eight}

Stay a little while
I know it's late
But all we got is time
And I don't wanna fall asleep now
Because being with your right now
Is better than our dreams now
Don't wanna fall asleep, fall asleep, fall asleep
'Cause being with you right now
Is better than our dreams now
Not gonna fall asleep, fall asleep, fall asleep
Let's drive around this ghost town
Until the morning light

- Johnny Orlando, "Sleep"

k e n z i e

We drive out to the countryside, out to where it's almost completely bereft of people, and park by a grassy field.

There, we get out of the car and find a comfortable place on the grass and lie down on under the stars. Lying there, they feels so close to you, it's almost like you could reach out your hand and touch them.

"I've never seen so many stars," I remark, in awe of the sky.

Next to me, Johnny tucks his arms under head and nods. "Yeah. It's hard to see the stars in the city."

"Look at that one," I whisper, pointing to one high above us.

"Mhmm." Out of the corner of my eye, I can see him gazing at me. "How have you been?" he asks seriously.

I look over, and our eyes meet. "That's a hard question that requires a long answer," I laugh.

"We have all night, don't we?" Johnny smiles, scooting closer to me.

"Okay, well..." I take a long breath. "I've been so much better compared to last year. My life has changed drastically." Looking over at him, I add, "Thanks to you."

"I didn't change you," he says, his small smile visible even in the dark. "I helped you see who you really were."

I smile back. "Either way, you helped me a lot."

"I mean, obviously life isn't perfect." I go on. "Depression doesn't work like that. I still have days I can't get out of bed. I still have days where I feel numb and the sinking feeling in my stomach won't go away. But that's okay, right? We take small steps to walk, and we only grow a little bit at a time. That's what you taught me."

"My whole outlook on life has changed. Life is good, and I can find the good in anything, even when it feels like absolute crap. You taught me that I'm not defined by a bad studio day, or a bad writing session. It's okay to not be perfect." I sigh, thinking about how different everything is now. Life is easier. I'm happier.

Johnny reaches his hand over to clasp mine. "I've noticed a change in you. You exude joy, even on the most stressful days. It's something even I have to work on."

"Do you know, too," I add, "You were the first person I felt like I could actually trust. When I didn't know why you cared about me outside of the counseling sessions and when I pushed you away, you still cared. Man, I was a wreck."

"I remember the first time I saw you," Johnny laughs softly. "You looked like a zombie. A cute one though."

Rolling my eyes, I laugh. "Yeah, mhm, sure."

"You did!" He dodges as I playfully slap his arm. "The cutest zombie you ever saw."

"Let me ask you something." I prop myself up on my elbow to look at him straight. "How the heck did you remember I wore Levi's the first time I saw you?"

"What?"

"Saw her wayside, chilling in her Levi's, love at first sight, a blessing in a disguise." I sing his lyrics to him. "And was it really love at first sight?" I demand.

Johnny laughs. "Okay, maybe not at first sight. Remember that one time we went to Disneyland?"

The memories flood my brain, and I can't help but smile. "Of course, how could I forget?"

"I guess it was love at 6th sight or something. That was when I knew I kinda sorta really liked you. You wore Levi's then. I remember because you kept picking at the little logo patch because you were nervous. I watched your ticks to make sure you weren't going to have a panic attack."

My heart melts, thinking about how much he  bothered to notice even back then. "Woah, I didn't know you cared about that stuff."

He nods, his gaze drifting up to look at the stars again. "I always have cared about you. And I always will."

I'm glad it's dark, so Johnny doesn't see me blushing. "I remember being so mad when I first had to go meet up with you. I convinced myself I didn't need a counselor," I reminisce. "I told myself I was fine, but I was far from that."

"We all think that." Johnny chuckles. "But we all need a helping hand to get us through hard times, no matter how much it hurts our pride. Myself included."

"Definitely." I sigh contentedly. "Who knew it would turn out like this? If you would have told me a year ago that my depression counselor would be the love of my life, I would have laughed in your face."

We laugh together, and Johnny sits up, leaning on one elbow. He reaches out to touch my face, caressing it gently. "I'm glad I met you, Mackenzie."

"Really?" I ask teasingly, and I can't help but smile. "I'm glad I met you too."

He tilts my chin up, and our lips meet in a soft, tender kiss.

It's a perfect moment I'll never forget: just us alone, lying under the stars...two broken people, who make each other better together. Our journey hasn't been perfect. We've had many obstacles, but we've gotten through them and come out better because of it.

Love is a beautiful thing.

- T H E E N D -

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