Spider-Man and the Guardians of the Galaxy

Hooked on a Feeling

Peter sighed as the two guards looked at his information. "Subject 89P14." Peter gave the guard a death glare when he used that name. He decided he would call them Bitch 1 and Bitch 2.

"Formerly known as Peter Parker. He was kidnapped with Subject 89P13 and enhanced with spider DNA. He's fifteen years old now. After he escaped with 89P13 and Groot they have been a tag team. I'm pretty sure they're wanted on fifteen different planets."

"Sixteen." Peter corrected.

The guards both ignored him. "What a bunch of a-holes. Transport all four to the Kyln." Bitch 2, who looked to be the boss, said.

"Even the kid?" Bitch 1 asked.

"Even the kid." Bitch 2 answered, and Peter could see a glint of evil in his eyes.

---

Peter, Rocket, Groot, Gamora, and Quill were all securely handcuffed and being led down the hall of the Kyln.

"I suppose most Nova Core want to uphold the law, but these ones here are corrupt and cruel, but hey, that's not my problem. I ain't gonna be here long. I've escaped twenty-two prisons. This one's no different." Rocket gloated.

"We have escaped twenty-two prisons." Peter corrected and Rocket just scoffed.

"You're lucky the broad showed up because if she didn't Rocket, Groot, and I would be collecting that bounty right now and you would be with Yondu." Peter said with a little anger in his voice, doing the Luigi death stare at Gamora.

"I've had a lot of folks try to kill me over the years. I ain't about to be bought down by a spider-kid, a tree, and a talking raccoon." Quill retorted.

"What's a raccoon?" Rocket asked and it took every ounce of self-control Peter had not to burst out laughing. 

"What's a raccoon? It's what you are, stupid." Quill insulted. Peter let a snicker out and Rocket glared at him.

"Ain't nothing like me, except me." Rocket retorted.

Quill decided to let it go and start a conversation with Gamora. "So this orb has a real shiny blue suitcase Ark of the Covenant Maltese Falcons sort of vibe." 

Peter lit up instantly. "YoU kNoW pOp CuLtUrE rEfErEnCeS tOo?!"

"YES! Finally! Someone who understands me."

"Okay, so that orb...what is it?" Peter asked.

"I am Groot."

"So what? What's the orb?" Quill asked. Peter sighed. He would have to teach this dude Groot.

"I have no words for an honorless thief." Gamora said.

Rocket scoffed. "Pretty high and mighty coming from the lackey of a genocidal maniac."

Gamora looked at him with disbelief. "Yea, we know who you are. Anyone who's anyone knows who you are." 

"Yea! We know who you are!" Quill added.

"Who is she?" he whispered to Groot.

"I am Groot."

"Yea, you said that." Quill sighed.

"I wasn't retrieving the orb for Ronan, I was betraying him. I had an agreement to sell it to a third party." Gamora explained, feeling the need to defend herself.

"I am Groot."

"Well, that's just as fascinating as the first eighty-nine times you told me that." Quill sarcastically said.

"What is wrong with giving tree here?" he asked. Peter started wheezing and almost fell to the ground.

"Well, he don't know talkin' good like me and you. So his vocabulistics is limited to 'I' and 'am' and 'Groot'" Rocket explained.

"Specifically in that order." Peter added.

"I tell you what, that's gonna wear real thin real fast." Quill said, a little irritation in his voice.

He stopped when he saw someone messing with his walkman through a window. Peter was glad that these idiots thought that his watch was just a watch and not a high tech piece of nanotech. 

"Hey! Put that away!" Quill commanded, walking through the door right before it closed. "Those headphones are mine those belong in impound and that tape and player is mine!!!" Quill shouted.

Peter sighed as the blue bastard shocked Quill with a stun baton. But like an idiot, Quill got back up. "Hooked on a Feeling, Blue Swede, 1973. That song belongs to me!"

The blue bastard shocked Quill again as the song played in the background. Peter facepalmed. He was surrounded by idiots.