Little Louder Now (Harry Styles/One direction fanfic)

Chapter 10: You like girls, eh? Me too.

Chapter 10:  You like girls, eh?  Me too.

*Liam's POV*

I had been shocked by Holland's admission.  So she had a crush on one of the other girls in her band.

I had finally found someone who I was attracted to, someone who made me forget about Danielle and she was into girls.  Fuck.  Life was a cruel bitch.

I had tried Niall's room first because that was officially where Holland was staying, but no one was there.  I decided to try my room next like Ollie suggested.  The fact that she was there, sitting indian style on my bed holding one of my pillows to her chest made my heart flutter inside my ribcage.

Wait, was she sniffing my pillow?  No, it's just hard to see in the dark.  She's only cuddling it.

She must have heard me come in but couldn't see me because of the "power outage".

"Who's there?" Holland asked while sniffling.

"It's me, Liam."

"Go away," she groaned.

"Sorry love, but it's my room," I reminded her.  "Besides, we need to talk."

She said nothing so I moved over towards the bed and sat facing her.  We sat for a moment in the quiet that was occasionally punctuated by her sniffling.  I tried to gather my thoughts and figure out how to apologize.  It was hard to concentrait being so near to her though.  Holland made every nerve in my body buzz with energy and stand at attention.

"Well this is sufficiently awkward," she stated flatly.

"That's my fault.  Me and my stupid mouth.  We wouldn't be in this mess if I could keep my fucking gob shut."

There was another long pause in the conversation... that is if you could call this a conversation.  "Do something Liam!" my mind screamed.

"So you like girls, eh?  Me too."  Mental facepalm!  Am I mentally deficient?!

She actually let out a tiny laugh.  "No.  If you had let me finish earlier, I could have explained."  She took a deep breath to prepare herself for what she said next.  "I said I THOUGHT I had a crush, but after I kissed Liv..."

My eyes buldged.  She had kissed Olivia.  If Harry knew he would've spooged his pants then and there.  He's under the impression that one girl is fantastic, but two together is... well, it's a dream of his.  Actually I kinda agree.  So sue me!  I'm a man.  But the thought of Holland and Ollie snogging is pretty steamy.

"...After I kissed Liv, I knew it was nothing.  She's a friend.  A really good HOT friend, but nothing more.  Besides, I like someone else now.  A GUY someone else," she said and nudged me.  I took this as my cue to talk again.

"I'm sorry."

"No need to be.  It's in the past.  It's all good now," Holls said while fixing her hair and wiping her face trying to erase the evidence of her being upset.

"It just freaked me out because... well, because..." I trailed off.  I didnt know what to so I did what I do best.

I started to sing the first appropriate thing that came to mind.

"Wake up, we both need to wake up

Maybe if we face up to this

We can make it through this

Closer, maybe we'll be closer

Stronger than we were before, yeah

Make this something more, yeah..." and my voice slowly dropped off.

"That was beautiful, Liam but what the hell are you trying to say?" she said quizically.

I remembered Zayn's comment from earlier this evening about never making a move.  It had really gotten to me.  I think it bothered me because the jackass was right.  I do move too slow.  Life was too short to move at a turtle's pace... even if I do love turtles, my love life shouldn't be modeled after them.  I let out a deep sigh and made my decision to put myself out there.

"I was saying sorry and that I want us to be closer."  I scooched closer to her on the bed.  I could smell her shampoo and it smelled feminine and floral, but not overpoweringly sweet.  Inoxicating really.  It was making my brain hazy and blurred my reason.  It gave me a boost of courage.  "I like you.  I like you-like you."  I cringed as the words left my lips.  Zayn was right.  Again.  I did sound like a 5 year old girl.  Fuck, Liam.  Fix this!  "I mean, I think your stunning and interesting.  I want to be with you."

I could see Holland bitting her bottom lip, thinking over my words hard.

Holls suddenly jumped up, grabbed her torch, and walked over to the corner of the room.  This was NOT the reaction I had hoped for.  She grabbed Charlie's suitcase and started walking towards my door.  Had I scared her enough with my "she likes girls" judgement, song of apology, and "like-like" confession that she was leaving and taking the girls with her?  I put my head in my hands.

"Are you going to help me or not?" I heard her call from the hall.

"I don't want you to go," I said almost choking on my words.

She stuck her head back in my room.  "What are you ON about Liam?"

"I don't want you to leave," I said more strongly.

She just laughed at me.  She was laghing at me?  I'd poured my heart out...

"You dork.  I'm moving Charlie's crap into Niall's room.  I don't care what Sam says.  I'm making an executive decision and I'm staying in here with you.  Now get your arse up and help me get my suitcase."  I could hear the happiness in her voice and my face broke into an instant smile.

For once, I Liam Payne, had put myself out there and succeeded.  This girl was good for me.  I could tell.  Holland kept me on my toes and guessing.  She made me feel like I could do or say anything without regret.

I already liked her much more than I should and felt like I was moving at warp speed.  This happened though for people who knew what it was like to be on the road, so I dismissed my concern.  Quick attatchments had to be made for a relationship to survive while touring because they had to be crammed into the short spaces where we weren't traveling.  Things like this always moved fast for everyone in the band... well, everyone except for me.  Plus, there was the isolation of being famous.  Don't get me wrong, I had the lads which was great, but they weren't anything like a girlfriend.  When you found someone who was normal and grounding you tend to stick to them like glue, trying to squeeze them into every spare moment you had.

I knew I was now grinning like and idiot.

My bubble of happiness was soon popped when I heard the front door opened followed by a stream of shouting and profanities.  Shit.  Daddy Direction to the rescue.