Save Me

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

It takes almost a full five minutes for me to come back down to Earth as I felt as though I was floating through time and space; reality a long-lived dream, but never real. Even when my logic comes back and my train of thought starts up again, I don't look around for the two missing dumbbells like I know I should, even with the chance this could all be a coincidence.

Because realistically, I know the truth. I know what this all means and I saw this happening long before it did.

I remove my hand off the rack of weights, wishing that I hadn't come down here to delve for information that doesn't concern me. The less information I know, the less chance of Luke taking me down with him like I know he wants to.

The floorboards above me creak loudly and this reality I've come back to now becomes a nightmare. Every single one of my fears seems to appear at the same time and I feel stuck between two life-altering realities, neither outcome good.

My brain thinks for me and suddenly I'm moving, my bare feet stepping on things I wanted to avoid, but no longer have the choice as I move against the wall closest to me, away from the view from the stairs. I hear the basement door opening and the heavy sound of Luke's feet as I silently move against the wall and to the small space behind the stairs.

His heavy footsteps drown out the quiet noises I make as I shuffle beneath the wooden stairs, pulling a gray bin beneath it closer to cover as much as me as possible. All I can see is Luke's mattress through the space in between the stairs and my body begins trembling as his footsteps get louder until suddenly they're right in front of me, stepping off the last stair and onto the dirty floor.

I put a shaking hand over my mouth, wondering if he'll hear me if I faint right now beneath the staircase in his room. I watch through the space in the stairs as he moves to his mattress, wearing the same clothes I saw him in when he raided our own home in the middle of the night.

It isn't until Luke turns around and sits on the edge of his bed that I realize how gone he really is. His clothes are wrinkled apparently and there's a tear in the left knee of his dirt-stained jeans, details I hadn't noticed in the darkness of my room. It's hard to make out anymore details with tears beginning to blur my vision from fear, but I can see the lack of emotions in his expression and it scares me because Luke has never not felt anything.

I watch hesitantly from my hiding place, wondering if this is how it's going to happen; if I'm going to die in Luke's room all because I needed answers to something that probably won't involve me since Luke doesn't appear to be a suspect. I think about how it'll happen; maybe I'll be a little too loud, he'll hear me and stab me to death. Maybe he'll hide my body in his closet until my rotting flesh begins to draw attention from our parents or tie weights to my ankles and dump me in the lake right where he dumped his drug dealer.

It's incredibly hard not to breathe loudly when my lungs are moving faster than light itself and there's a sob lodged in my throat bigger than a golf ball. I think about just letting myself go, letting the sobs take over and waiting for all of this to be over. It'll be so much easier if I just let Luke get it over with instead of wondering the rest of my life when he'll do it.

Luke makes an abrupt noise that sounds like a mix between a groan and a yell and I wish more than anything I could shut this all out so this isn't the last thing I see when I die.

He remains on the edge of his bed, staring at the ground in front of him before seeming to make a decision on something. He tears open the drawer of his nightstand and I hear multiple unnameable objects shuffling as he tries to find what he's looking for.