Save Me

Chapter 35

Chapter 35

The tension in the air reminds me to calm myself down because it's most definitely not the police officer sitting across from me who's emitting it. It makes me wonder if cops have to go through psychological training so they know how to detect when a suspect is lying to their face or if the way I'm constantly moving my hair is a sign that I know something I shouldn't. Every move I make feels like it gives it all away; the nervous tremor of my hand, the need to constantly be doing something, how I avoid eye contact at all costs.

Can I be anymore guilty?

The officer frowns softly, the sympathy evident in his expression and I begin to wonder all over again if that's something they're taught at the academy they go through for training. I've heard doctors and nurses are taught in school how to tell a patient's family when they've passed away -the proper way to tell them- but I'm unsure if cops have to do the same thing.

"I'm sorry for your loss, Athena," he starts. His posture seems calm and relaxed, but that could just be something I'm making up because I want to see it. Maybe he already knows and this is all just a test to see if I'll admit to everything; admit to my part in Luke's death.

"We're just trying to cover all bases and get a better understanding of who your brother was and who he hung out with. It appears his death was accidental, but the coroner is still undecided," he explains, purposely leaving out all the important details because he doesn't think I should be in this situation. To him, I'm just a kid, mourning a family member for the second time in my short life.

I think over his words carefully, trying to see if there's a possibility of a secret message behind his words, like a way to warn me what to say because he knows more than I do. I know I'm just being paranoid, but perhaps with good reason. Irrational fears aren't as irrational as most people think.

"He hung out with the football team -his teammates," I say. I don't want to say anything about my relationship with Luke and I know it's best to act like I don't know anything at all, so I do. The less I know, the less involved I'll seem. "We were both always busy, so I rarely saw him."

The officer seated at my kitchen table thinks this over, nodding his head softly like he's either encouraging me or had already assumed this and agrees. It's the same two officers who disrupted the peace of our home last night, deciding to give us a night of grieving before they had to start doing their jobs and cover all their bases.

"And what were these guys like? Did you ever see or hear Luke getting involved with drugs?"

I know this is probably the most important part of the investigation; the drugs. The same drugs were found in Luke's system that were in his drug dealers and since they both ended up dead underwater; they're thinking it's drug related and possibly a serial killer move.

I want to tell them everything and answer all their questions, but to do that would be to turn myself in and I can't. After everything Luke has done to me, I deserve my freedom and I won't go down just because I know no one will believe my story.

"I mean, it was obvious he wasn't... okay, but he never talked to me about anything, so I don't know," I admit softly, clearing my voice in a way that I hope makes me sound emotional over Luke's death, not the possibility of going to jail. If I give the officers some truths and tell them things they already know, then they'll have no reason not to believe me.

I play with my sleeves, which I needed to cover the bruises that developed sporadically on my body. Most of my injuries are hidden so I know the officers won't suspect foul play between Luke and I, ever, and I wonder if that's a good thing or not. Maybe I shouldn't have given Luke the chance to die with a clean reputation. Maybe I should have told my story time and time again until my voice stopped working, making sure that everyone in the world knows who he really was.