After Goodbye

Chapter 3

"When does this end?" I'm leaning into Death's side, his arm around my shoulders. My family went to their separate rooms soon after the sun set save for Jordyn who Mom kept with her.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Hazel. It's hard. They are going to be in pain for a long time, but they'll learn to cope. They'll move on." I wish there is a way to show them that I'm okay, but Death is adamant that I can do nothing but talk to them which does nothing since they can't hear me.

"Are they sleeping?"

"All except Victoria." Tori is normally one of the first asleep, so that surprises me. Even with this advanced freaky hearing I can't place where she is in the house.

"Where is she?" I strain my hearing. She must be standing very still. I can hear Nate's light snores and Mom's heavy breathing, thick with dreaming. She eventually cried herself to sleep.

"Your room." A thud pounds from the floor above.

"What was that?" I don't wait for him to answer. I slip from under his arm and run up the stairs. Thankfully she left the door open and it's enough for me to squeeze through. She's kneeling by my bed, picking up the book she had dropped. It's mine, Allegiant. It was sitting on my bedside table, the book mark over halfway through.

"Spoiler: Tris dies." She sets it back down and sits on the edge of my bed.

"It's late, Tori. You should be sleeping," Death opens his mouth, but I cut him off. "I know. She can't hear me." I watch as she curls up under my comforter.

"I don't understand, Hazel. Why did you do this? How can I tell people that I look up to my big sister when you killed yourself?" I furrow my brow. Tori and I have never exactly been close. She's a brilliant girl and every time I speak to her she makes me feel stupid. But...she looks up to me?

"Tor I..," I look back at her, but she is asleep, her legs folded up, tucked underneath my blanket, face buried in my pillow. "I love you."

"They did good. You'd be surprised at some of the reactions when people find out they lost a child. Most mothers try to hurt themselves." I don't want to think about that.

"We don't sleep in this life, do we?"

"I mean you can, but it isn't necessary," I crawl across the bedspread to lay next to her. Death grabs my foot, dragging me back a little bit.

"No."

"And why not?"

"What if she rolls over? She'll roll right onto you and that will not be comfortable for the human." I let him pull me back to be sitting beside him.

"What is there to do then?"

"We find ways to entertain ourselves." I can't think of anything that I can do in this state of being at this time of night. Before...dying I used to read at night, but now I can't pick up a book.

"Entertain myself? What do you do?" He shrugs.

"I'm not sure. It has been a long time since I've been to this world." This would be a good time to learn about life as whatever this is. There's nothing else to do.

"What do you do normally then?"

"I'm a guide. When someone dies and they come through the void I give them the basic run down of things."

"How is that different from here?"

"It's very different from here. You can do anything. There are tons of things to amuse yourself with. You want it just think and you'll get it and when you're done with it it disappears. You can work if you want, you can make friends and lovers, anything really. It is what every human wishes for this world." He gestures about my bedroom.