Ever since I was a small child, I could never understand what it meant to be happy, sad, angry, or depressed. Emotions have always been foreign to me, well until I met *%#>~\, but I'm getting ahead of myself.
I never knew why I never felt things or, even worse, why it was such a bad thing to feel nothing in the first place. I was neither sad nor happy. I was just....empty. My parents noticed early on and they looked...sad? Like I said, I don't know, so I looked at everyone's facial expressions and mimicked them so people wouldn't feel bad for me anymore. Later in middle school and high school I was told that I was "cold". I guess it stuck. It's the only word other and empty that I can use to describe. "Cold" means the lack of warmth. Although "cold" still isn't accurate. You can feel cold. I couldn't.
At the time I didn't know. I wish I did, I really do, but I'll never be able to fix what I did that day. I didn't mean to do it, I really didn't. I didn't know it was wrong. I didn't even know what "wrong" meant. Sometimes I feel like I still don't know. Is this what it's like to be blind? No blind people still feel. Okay, I feel like I can finally say it.
I killed a person.
I killed someone.
Without any feeling of remorse.
I did it.
They're dead.
they're dead. and cold. and...gone
because of me
