Don't Leave Me

Coward

Oh lord was I an angsty 12 year old. I just reread this chapter before redoing it and man...like I actually made America use a homophobic slur. I remember writing this and it was after I got home from school and it was the first time ever someone had called me that slur. What you'll find out about me is I put a lot of my emotions into my writing, probably why it's all so much drama, and so I guess that was my way of doing it in that moment. Personally I dislike it. It was out of character and just ew. So good thing I can change it!! Woot woot))

The weekend came and went. I kept myself busy with war preparations and barely allowed anytime to think about England. I had talked to Matty and Gil about the situation and they both want me to hear him out, but we all agreed it could wait until the next world meeting on Monday.

It's been difficult. Anytime I wanted to cut before the incident, England would be there and help me to stay strong. Now he's not and I can't bother Matty or Gil with this. It feels silly dealing with such a small issue during the breakout of World War III. Sure, it's an addiction which sucks, but it doesn't feel important enough to bother them about compared to all of our other issues.

So I haven't said anything despite the multiple relapses I've had. I think the worst part about it is how every time I do it I find myself caring less and less about preventing it.

Monday rolled around though and the meeting is supposed to be happening in a few minutes. Japan had never made it to my house but we met him here and he explained how China, now joined with the axis, has been hounding his border so much he was called back to help. He's only out now because the meeting trumps what he can do on the front lines.

So far though no other nation has shown up outside of Matty, Gil, Japan, and me.

I get so close to breaking down and calling England just to find out where he is when the doors open and in storms France, hun, Germany, and Italy.

"That doesn't look good." Canada mumbles leaning into Gilbert as he does.

Germany and Italy move to the front of the room like before while France and England take up their normal seats.

I watch England as he walks around the table and all the empty seats only for him to stop and sit in the seat next to France. He finally looks up at me but it's hard to make out the emotion that flickers in his eyes. It doesn't help when France hooks their arms together drawing England's attention away.

I glare daggers at the two as rage boils inside me. I didn't realize I was digging my nails into my palm until Japan's hand gently reaches over and forced me to stop. Blinking surprised I nod at him gratefully before taking my hand from his and stuffing it in my bomber jacket pocket.

"Vell every other nation he responded. They have all joined up vith us. Vhat is your responses?" Germany asks wasting no time as his gaze lingers on each of us in turn.

France raises his hand, "I agree with your terms." He says before turning to look at England.

He can't be serious. Even if he's screw France, England would never give his country away like that! That's not the England I know!

Do I really know him though?

Shaking the thought away I focus back on England. Everyone else seems to be doing the same and he glances from France to Germany before his eyes settle on me, "I do not agree with your terms Germany. My nation will not bow down to anyone but our Queen."

Despite everything the ghost of a smile touches my lips. Of course he wouldn't agree. It was wrong of me to even doubt that.

Germany grunts but doesn't respond and instead turns to my group. He looks at each of us and each time we say no. The only one that seems to surprise him is Prussia, but even that doesn't seem to bother the all powerful evil Germany! If my brother betrayed me I'd be pretty pissed but he just pauses before turning to look at Italy and whisper something to him.

Once they are both done talking Italy moves to stand beside Germany, "See you on the battle field." He smiled before walking off with Germany close behind.

"You cowardly frog! You pathetic twat! How could you side with those psychos!?" England roared as soon as the door closed behind Germany.

France flinched as the blonde yelled at him, "It was the only way to protect my people!" He argued.

England stood up from his chair, "Protect them? You just gave them away to two doctoral countries who care only about themselves. I'm sure your people will be very safe with them!" He laughed, "Your a bloody idiot and a disgrace." Without another word he started storming around the table and towards the door.

I jumped up to follow only for a slight tug on left sleeve to stop me. Japan looked up at me, "Is this wise America-san?"

It's strange facing Japan now after all that's happened. When we first became friends I admired him and how respectable and mature he was. That admiration turned into a crush, and after the war I decided to love him from afar. I thought he hated me and I'd never get another chance with him again. Even after he forgave me I still had the thought of being with me, but now when I look at him I don't feel any of that longing. He's a friend, and nothing more. I need someone who challenges me. Who makes me a better person, and as much as I care about Japan...he's not that person.

"Pretty sure this is the only wise thing I've ever done." I joked winking at him before turning to rush after England.