Once upon a time
There was a girl
Her story is quite sad
So no one likes to hear it
You can turn your heads away
Hold your hands onto your ears
Smash, tear and rip apart my paper
But you should know that doesn't make it undone
Humans create and design and build
It's in our nature to do so
We try our best to be remembered and hope to overcome the fear of being forgotten
We want to be special, to be loved
To stand out
Let me tell you one thing, my friend
The universe is huge and you are tiny
Yet you are a part of it
One day the earth will die
And you will die with it
No one will remain to remember and everyone is going to be forgotten
You say this sounds harsh?
Who said the truth is gentle?
This is not a kind place
So why should the truth be like that?
That's the problem with truth
Everybody wants to hear it but hardly anyone can handle it
You say you want to know and you can handle it
I ask you;
Are you ready to hear it?
And most importantly, are you able to understand?
Once upon a time there was a girl
Her story is quite sad and nearly no one cares
Her hope is gone just as her sanity
Too much to handle
Old enough to understand, too young to deal with it
Oh her life is nice,
She and her family are healthy and happily
She has more than enough to eat and a nice home
No tragic childhood
Still she wants to die
It's true, she is depressed
Spent a lot of time in hospital
Scars decorate her whole body
She is not sad, not happy either
Emptiness is filling her soul
Nothing to hold onto
She is all alone and lonely
Too scared to look for help she holds her head low
As low as her self-esteem
There is too much chaos in her mind. Thoughts running amok
Monsters eating her alive
People wonder why she's so quiet
Well, you never listen
Holding back tears, it's time for school
Go girl, you can do it
Just smile and if someone asks, you're fine
(they wouldn't understand), just tired :)
Inside she is screaming, throwing things through the room
Beating, kicking, scratching - smiling
Blood Blood Blood Blood
One word on repeat
Like a broken CD
She wants to die but no one is allowed to know
Scared to hurt someone
All she wants is to create and put her sorrow into her artwork
But fuck, nothing comes out
So many thoughts yet her mind seems empty
Too fast, only spinning around, can't grab a single word
She wants to create something beautiful
But what if she can only destroy?
She does not draw with pencils but with blood
Tearing up her skin, leaving ugly scars
- Look at it, what a mess
Humans tend to destroy everything they touch
Including each other -
And that's all she does
Filling people with love and affection and then she leaves
- Boring, nothing to discover anymore
They don't understand but she's like a ticking time bomb - ready to explode
And when she does, everything and everybody around her will be blown up with her
She thinks it's her duty to keep the number of possible victims as low as possible
She builds walls as high as the sky,
as thick as giant sequoia trees
She flinches back if someone dares to come too close
Even if she decided to not trust anyone anymore
Her hope and her foolishness don't listen
A new person, a new chance
Paranoid to get hurt, she instantly regrets opening up
Why does she try? She is not willing to accept help
Why does she open up, let other people worry and back away?
It's not a fair thing to do so. Not at all.
Self-hatred, doubts and disgust is all she knows
Willing to punch the walls and cut her thighs, "I deserve it"
I, a lying, bitchy fool. A disaster, disappointment, unworthy child.
Too many thoughts, voices screaming ugly things at me, insulting me, KILLING ME!
Go kill yourself, no one cares about you. No one needs you. No one loves you. You're a burden. Go kill yourself.
You see that train arriving? Imagine lying under it.
Look down, so deep. Let's jump.
Oh a knife? Yeah, slit your wrists.
Sleeping pills, nice. Have sweet dreams ~
Is that a real gun? Go on, pull the trigger and find it out.
Fancy rope you've got there. Wanna try some knots?
Party time! Let's bet how much alcohol fits in your little body.
This car is over speed limit. Run and teach him a lesson.
They say a single person can save someone from suicide.
Ever wanted to be a hero? Well, that's your chance.
Just be warned: It can ruin you.
Trying to help and slowly realising you cannot save them.
You're helpless, overwhelmed, desperate.
You don't know what to do.
They call you in the middle of the night, leaving several text messages. You're asleep.
You promised to be there, always.
Where are you now? Another disappointment.
You wake up, receiving a call. The person you tried to save? She is dead. Jumped off a bridge last night when you were sleeping. Is it your fault?
They tell you no. You're mind says yes. You were needed and you weren't there.
You don't sleep anymore. You don't eat, you're not going to school. Visiting a psychologist.
Self-hatred fills your emptiness. You blame yourself for a death. You can't live with it. You want to die.
