Ella's P.O.V.
We had finally made it to our new home is California, It's so different from New Jersey.
I'm so glad we finally left New Jersey. Nothing against it, New Jersey was a really cool place. It was my stupid fucking bitch of a mother. I'm so glad my dad got custody of me.
I also hated my school. Everyone made fun of me, called me emo, attention seeking, stupid shit like that.
I try to hide the fact that I cut, drink, and generally want to fucking die, but thats hard to do when it becomes you and is written all over your body. And of course this stupid cunt face named Sarah had to see my scars. She told the entire fucking school and started spreading rumors about me. After that I was completly ignored except for my friend Marisa.
I wasn't even bullied just ignored. It's almost worse. At least when you are bullied people acknowledge your existence. This was the time I tried to commit suicide for the first one.
But of course I failed because I'm a fucking useless failure of a person. I stopped giving a fuck about school and mostly focused on bands. That's when I lost the only friend I had. Not like dead lost but she just stopped talking to me because I stopped talking to her and everyone in general.
Anyway back to the bands part. The bands I mostly focused on were 5 Seconds of Summer, Pierce The Veil, Sleeping With Sirens, Bring Me The Horizon, Fall Out Boy, Of Mice & Men, Black Veil Brides, My Chemical Romance, and Green Day.
I feel like I can really relate to Vic Fuentes and Pierce The Veil songs because I do know what it's like to wake up in the middle of the night scaring the thought of kissing razors.
My family was also shit. I had a sister but whe she went to college she stopped talking to me. My mom, like I said, was a stupid bitch. All my mom does is get drunk and sit in her room feeling bad about herself. I think the only reason I'm still alive right now is my dad.
She finally divorced that bitch and now we are here. San Diego California. I was kinda excited because Pierce the Veil is from here, other than that it's just a nuisance to have to move and shit like that.
I noticed that I looked really put of place. Everyone had like really big boobs and wore short shorts and bright colors and have blonde hair, and then there is me in my converse, black skinny jeans, purple hair, and Pierce the Veil shirt like "Hey you'll probably hate me." Well shit, this is goning to be fun.
Our house was really fucking big. What the hell it's just the 2 of us. Someone got the good half of the divorce. It was a really nice house though to be honost. It's also really close to my new school. FUCK, SCHOOL. I just ruined everything for myself. I have no friends and I don't know anyone. Aw shucks.
Okay so it's Friday and school starts on Monday so I'm going to push the thought of school out of my mind for the time being.
I ran out of the car right when we got there. I heard my dad yelling at me but I was like fuck that shit. Our house had 4 bedrooms for some reason, were we taking in foster children? I actually have no idea. My room, luckily, was the basement. I ran for the downstairs when my dad walked in and stopped me. "You don't get to see your room until we unpack the taxi." "Fuck" I whispered.
I unloaded all my shit from the car and waited for him to give me the "go ahead." And when he did I was off to my room. My room was the fucking best. I had my own bathroom. AWESOME. I'm going to be needing that at a later time. It had a lock too. Yes!
My room was very big which was cool, but all the walls were white. Thats going to change very soon. My bed was not too big not too small. God I sound like a fucking fairy tale.
Because I am a total emo fangirl all my clothes are band shirts and skinny jeans. Once that was all put away I made my bed then put up my posters. The last thing I did that night was go inot my bathroom and set up my blades. I wasn't going to cut that night, I was actually feeling pretty good. But I knew that wouldn't last.
I went upstairs for dinner. I of course didn't eat it I'm way too fat to eat. So I just sat there and said I wasn't feeling good and that's why I wasn't eating. After dinner I went back to the basement and fell asleep.
Saturday
I woke up the next day and immediately got into some painting clothes. I was going to paint quotesof my fucking white walls. God it took forver.
Sunday
On Sunday I didn't do anything but freak the fuck out about school. The day went by supper quick and at about 11 I was super drunk and having a panick attack. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. This is going to horrible. I fell asleep to the dreadful thoughts of going to school.
Hey this is Ella. I hope you like the first chapter. This is my first fan fic so... Sorry if it sucks. I wil, either post chapter 2 sometime tonight or tomorrow. So bye! :)
