The Ocean Between Us

Karter

The first day of my sophomore year was yesterday and that means that football season will be starting soon.  My girlfriend Ali, is talking to me about our new schedules but there's so much going on right now in my head that I tune her out for just a second.  It's exhausting to listen to her sometimes because she talks a mile a minute, but you learn to deal with it after a while.  "So I have you in chemistry and geometry." Saved by the bell. "Well I gotta go but see you at lunch!"  She kisses me and then goes on her way.  I've been meaning to break up with Ali for the longest time now but I just don't know how.  My parents really like her and think that she's the one but little do they know.  No one knows. 

 Because of me being the quarterback on the football team and Ali being the sweet, loyal cheerleader that she is and us being a couple we've gained popularity.  I was just thinking about if I was going to meet up with Ali at lunch or not when the bell that said first period was over rang.  She finds me and we walk to chemistry together and I feel so guilty.  She loves me but I don't love her back.  She'll understand right?  I sure hope so.  

Second period was excruciating to get through, and somehow I'm still alive when the bell rings.  Ali finds me and starts talking. Again.  It's like all that she does is talk.  Talk, talk, talk. All the time.  I do a personal eye-roll (an eye-roll that stays to yourself) and fight the urge to just walk away without saying anything.  So as I'm standing there not even halfway listening to what Ali is saying she finally ends with. "So your going to be there right?" 

I had absolutely no idea what the hell she was talking about but I then said without thinking or even simply asking what it was I was going to be attending but nope I just said. "Yah. Sure. What time?"  "I already told you this!  Karter do you even remotely listen to what I'm saying!?"  I wanted so badly to just tell her the truth and say "No Ali, I don't because that's all that you do which makes just being around you exhausting.  That and it's really annoying when you talk so fast that no one can even understand what the fuck your even saying!" I obviously didn't say that.  However I wish that I did.  Instead I said.  "Sorry babe, I forgot."  "Ugh! Karter we meet at Dave's house at 7:30.  Got it this time?"  

God bless that she told me where because otherwise I would have just been wandering around town having no idea where the fuck I was even going.  Not to mention wasting like a tank of gas!  That stuff is expensive!  So I make a mental note to go to Dave's at 7:30, but I know I'm just not going to remember.  My next class is history and then lunch.  I'm still deciding if I should meet Ali at lunch when the teacher, I don't even know what her name is, calls on me.  I don't know what the question or answer are so I make a "class clown" move and end up saying a random number that makes some kids laugh.  

I'm not usually "that kid" you know but today I just didn't really care.  Everything was already going shitty and couldn't get honestly any worse.  So it's finally lunch time and I'm starving and don't feel like talking to Ali and making myself even more tired than I already am so I ditch Ali.  I'm know that I'm going to get yelled at later at Dave's but whatever.  I still remember.  Surprised!?  I know I am!  Anyway, so instead of sitting next to Ali I go to the football field and sit in the bleachers.  A couple of moments later Ali ends up finding me and sits next to me in silence.  This never happens.  The quiet is nice but unusual.

  Ali then breaks that very enjoyable and peaceful silence and in my head I'm thinking please don't start talking.  I just repeat those words in my head a few times and then snap back to reality.  While I was wishing for the silence to last it seemed that Ali didn't start talking, instead opened her mouth and then closed it again.  She didn't have anything to say.  This was a first.  I looked at her and she was red and looked like she was about to explode because she had so much to say and wanted to say it so badly.  We sat there in silence for the rest of lunch and didn't talk at all that night at Dave's.  I later found out that she heard from one of her friends how much that I hated it when she talked so not she refused to say anything at all.  Well not to me at least.  Then one night I was lying in bed not studying even though I knew that we had a test the next day when I got a Facebook message from someone I didn't even know.  I ignored it and went back to scrolling through my feed.