little one

chapter eight

sebastian's pov

Thea woke up in a panic. There's no other way to explain it. Her entire body was shaking as her breathing became labored.

"Little One? What's wrong, baby?" I reached for her, placing her on my lap. The shaking slowed, but her breathing stayed the same. I sat still waiting for her to say something. I didn't want to push her, I wanted her to open up on her own time.

"I-I- don't k-know. I don't know. I'm s-sorry." Her breathing was still too fast for my liking, and all I wanted to do was find out the problem and fix it for her. I wanted her to be OK. That's all.

"You don't need to apologize Angel. I'm right here. Lean on me." I didn't just mean physically, I wanted her to know that I was there to support her in every way. If she would only just let me.

She seemed to take my words literally, and she cautiously tucked her head into the crook of my neck.

I'm starting to realize the trauma she went through isn't the only reason she acts the way she does. My cousin, Alessandra, was diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder (S.A.D.) For her, she struggled to be around people a lot of the time, and she would get anxious in large groups. I notice the same tendencies in Thea. It breaks my heart, but at least I'm aware of what the problem is. Let me rephrase that. Her anxiety isn't a problem, it's a war I need to help her fight. I don't want to fix her. I want to help make things better.

*

Today's gonna be a difficult day. Ainsley needs to do blood work on Thea, and I don't know who it's gonna be harder for. The idea of my little mate being in pain, after she's already dealt with so much... My heart aches thinking of all she's been through. No. That's not giving her enough credit. It hurts to think of all the things she SURVIVED.  I don't see my beautiful, kind, sweet Thea as a victim. That would be an insult to the strength she has. She's a survivor. Of how much I don't even know, all I know is she's a superwoman in my eyes.

I'm well aware that I was fairly close to finding my mate dead in that poor excuse of a room. I'm blessed beyond words to have her in my arms. I'm thanking God for the miracle that Thea is. She's my beautiful miracle. I don't know if I can say what I'm feeling is love. I've only known her for a day. But in my heart, it feels like I've known her for a lifetime.

I just want to know her inside and out. Every little mundane detail. Her favorite food, her favorite show, hobbies, her favorite color, etc. Nothing seems too trivial when I think about how I was so close to not know anything about her. To think I might have gone my entire life without ever looking into her soft blue eyes... Unfathomable. 

*

Thea's barely uttered a word since her panic attack earlier. I'm trying not to be worried, but I'm finding I have little control when it comes to her. All I want is to kiss her beautiful lips and make her mine, but I know we have a long road ahead of us. As much as I would love to just make her mine and call it that, I'm looking forward to getting to know her in every sense of the word. I think it will make everything all the more meaningful.

Thea won't let go of me. When I told her we had to go her blood work done she gave almost no reaction. But, the second I went to place her on her feet she whimpered and clung to me. Logically I understand why the mate bond draws her to me. But, emotionally I'd like to think she feels safe with me. That it's not all about the mate bond. Either way, I will gladly be her rock as long as she needs me. That's what mates are for. We lean on each other during the hard times, and we rejoice as one with the good times.

Her head was tucked snuggly in the curve of my neck. An intimate spot for werewolves. Werewolves are sensitive to the touch on our necks because that is where your mate marks you. If anyone but your mate would touch it, it'd feel violating. I've noticed Thea likes to snuggle her head against my neck, but it seems to more of a coping mechanism now. Like she's hiding from anyone who might cross us.

I can feel her body shivering as we leave the packhouse, and I curse myself for being so thoughtless about her needs. I try to envelop her even more in my arms, rubbing her shoulders to give her warmth. She lets out almost a cooing sound as she rests her head on my shoulder.

"S-S-Sebasti-an? Th-thank you f-for always h-holding me. I -I don-t don't want to be clingy. I-I just- You- I just feel safe in your arms. You make me feel safe. A feeling I never thought I'd feel again. I'll try every day for as long as you'll have me, to make you feel as happy and safe as you make me feel. I know I'm just a weak runt, but I'll try." Her words became more confident as she spoke, her ramblings the most adorable thing I'd seen yet.

If her words hadn't brought me to tears, her actions sure did. She hesitantly brushed a soft kiss against my lips, and my control shattered. I kept one hand on her butt and cupped her face as I continued to brush little kisses all over her lips, nose, and face. Her giggles sounded like angels to me.

"S-S-Sebastian? Why-y are you c-crying?" Her face scrunched up with a concern, her head tilted.

"I'm happy, Little One. I'm happy." I said simply. I gave her one last kiss and set off to get her bloodwork done. Afterward, I planned to shower my mate with affection, and treat her like the princess, no. Queen that she is.

(I was gonna stop here, but because I love you guys I'll keep going ;)

*

By the time we reached Ainsley's office, Thea's anxiety was rolling off of her in waves. I had given Jace a heads up on the time we'd be out, so he could inform the pack of the situation. They were instructed to keep at a distance, and not bombard Thea and me. I know I needed to take care of my pack, and let them know how their Luna is doing. Jace had already told me that everyone was overjoyed we had a new Luna. As I expected. Jace assured me that they understood the situation, having to give them a brief synopsis of what happened, and they understood the need for privacy.

Ainsley greeted us as we walked in the door;

"Morning Alpha, Luna. How are you feeling today?" Prepared to answer for Thea, expecting her to be silent I was shocked when she gave a soft reply;

"I'm doing quite well thank you. I have a personal heater I can take anywhere." She looked up at me, giggling. I was in complete shock. I had no words. But I tried not to make a big deal out of it. I didn't want her to feel like I was treating her like a child. She was a beautiful, strong woman who I was blessed to love and cherish.

"Well, that's always nice" Ainsley let out a shocked giggle.

Thea is a constant surprise. I can tell right now my Little Mate is gonna keep me on my toes. And, I can't wait for every second of it.

Omg, I can not believe the amount of love you guys have to give 'Little One!' Thank you guys so much!

see ya soon,

-ej