Soulmates ( YoonMin FF )

3rd Life : Happenstance

It was as if Kim Namjoon was the happiest man in the whole wide world. His message was finally going to be heard, hopefully— he says to himself.

And Park Jimin, he was more than thankful for the man's amazing work. His voice will be heard soon enough. His feelings wouldn't be kept in a bubble no longer. A suffocating and enclosing bubble that just keeps him away from attaining true happiness— all that he ever wanted.

All the pain and sacrifices. All the hardwork, all the skipped meals and all those sleepless nights. It was all worth it in the end because once their comeback came into season and the intro that consisted of Jimin and his angelic voice dropped, it was all over for us. (Army narrates HAHA)

For every one of those adorable fans that supported them, the boys were more than grateful for them. The song grabbed more attention than they expected it to have and Jimin couldn't feel any prouder. His story, his voice. They heard it. They loved it.

But did he hear it?

Did the person he was talking about, did the person who he dedicated his to, did the person who has loved and hurt him at the same time hear it?

Of course the group has heard the album on one of those days, memorizing and practically placing another beautiful piece into their hearts.

But what really bothers Jimin's mind is if he knows. Does the elder know the song was for him, really?

But he acts fine. A part of his brain counters. He acts as if like before. He hugs me. He kisses me. He holds my hands. He cuddles me in the middle of a dark stormy night when I couldn't sleep.

So did he know?

No. He doesn't.

🎹

And like one of those normal starry night that both admires in the comfort of one's room. They were stuck on each other like a koala who doesn't want to let go of the other. It was normal. It always was.

But definitely not for Jimin.

To think that it was a normal thing they've been doing even before him and I, you and me became an us for the two. Well, Yoongi thought it was normal. Just the two of them, with the guy he loved the most. He couldn't ask for anything more.

But Jimin never thought about it like that. He tried to view Yoongi's perspective. He did. He tried to so hard. But he never saw how much their so-called love mattered to the elder. He just felt so frustrated. He wanted to talk to the elder, to ask him if their relationship still worked. Is there still a them? Or was it all just in his imagination that there became an us between the two of them?

And he did.

"Yoongi-hyung." He softly mutters. His voice slightly muffled by the older's chest. The older just hums in response. He hastily drew a deep breath before hesitating and picking through the words scattered all over in his confused mind. "What... are we?"

"You're mine and I'm yours, Jimin." Confused with the younger's sudden query but still answered straightforwardly nonetheless. "I thought we talked about this beforehand."

"But..." the younger continues, taking a few more deep breaths and begins once more. "It's as if only you and I know that I love you and you love me."

"But isn't that all that really matters? That you know and I know because it's really just the two of us."

"I know, hyung but..." he sighs and fiddles with the hem of the older's green turtle neck sweater. "It's as if no one knows you're mine and I'm yours. That anytime they know you'd fall in love with them. It's just... I don't feel as if you're mine infront of the stage and I..."

"Awe, is my Jiminie jealous?" The older teases with a small chuckle but the younger just keeps a straight face. Yoongi stops his playfulness. "Oh, you're serious huh?"

Jimin just snuggled his face closer to the elders chest and nods. He feels as if this would be the last time that they'd cuddle this close. "Are you sure that there's still an us, hyung?"

"That's just absurd, Jimin! Why would you even ask that?"

"I... just feel like..."

"Jimin, are you doubting me? Do you not trust me?" Yoongi mutters in a small and soft voice, pain evident in his tone.

"N-no... hyung, I just don't think our relationship is something you're proud of..." he mutters in the smallest voice he could muster, hoping the elder doesn't hear so that at least their relationship could still be salvaged.

"Of course I'm proud of having you in my life, being my boyfriend!" The older caressed his soft silky hair but it didn't really comfort or calm the younger one bit.

"Because it's as if you avoid me on stage. Like I'm no one and just an acquaintance to you on stage." He spits out like a venom. Sharp and stinging.

"Jimin, that's because—"

"Because what hyung?" The younger almost tears up. "Why do you act as if I was just another person who entered your life? I feel so unimportant to you. I feel like I'm not so special."

"Jimin... I'm scared." A firm but soft voice mutters. His breath was slightly shaking but he was more than sure with his answer.

"Are you ashamed of me, Yoongi?" He mutters, a tone of a shaky and hurt trailing down on his voice. "Is that why?"

"No, Jimin. That's not—"

"Leave me alone, hyung." He was forcing himself not to break down in front of the older but Yoongi wouldn't budge, his eyes was also filled with pain and tears.

"Jimin, please—" He begs but Jimin turns him down.

"I said go." He says firmly. It doesn't take a minute more before the older sit up from the comfort of the younger's warm bed and goes to his and Jin's shared room, leaving the younger alone to cry himself to sleep.

Yoongi covered himself with a thick blanket and tried to sleep the pain away with a heavy heart but all his attempts were just unsuccesful.

He knew the younger had a point and he had all the rights to get mad at his lover. He knew he was wrong but at the same time wasn't. It was fear rather.

For starters, Yoongi knew he wasn't the showy type. He wasn't clingy nor does he like anything near the term PDA. And most of all, he wasn't embarrassed but rather afraid. He was afraid of those stares. Those pair of sharp judgmental eyes that tells you you're not one of them. As if you're not human but a disgusting creature. The glare that tells you that every move of yours and everything you do is wrong.

And of course he was afraid. He was afraid of losing all the hard work he's been building for years, that being his life-long dream.

But then Jimin was also his dream. His everything and all he could ever ask for.

What else could he do now though?

———
i'm sorry. my writing changed i think lol

still having a writer's block. i'll fix this in a few tho haha