That thing called love

2

TYLER'S POV

( The day of the skype call)

Almost every single day I call, text or skype Troye Sivan.  And I hate it.

I hate it so much because every skype call, every time I hear his little accent and see his adorable face I fall deeper and deeper in love with him. In love with Troye Sivan. In love with a person who could never love me back.

Why? Why do I do this to myself?  When I stay with him or see him in general I feel this thing I cant explain.

My chest hurts, I feel wonderful, I want to be closer, then I get closer and it feels so good, almost painful because I know this is the closest I can ever get to him. I can never hug him for more than a few seconds, and even then people give us wierd looks. I cant hold his hand. I cant even really let go with him because I would break down.

If I cant get past my feelings for Troye I will just have to let him go a bit, and get a love life. I called Ed, the guy I rejected last night.  I told him I was wrong and he should come round to mine.

Ed would be a good boyfriend.  He was good looking,  was sweet funny and a nice person. This will work. I will totally fall for Ed.

Two hours later

Eds just gone to the loo. I cant do this. Every time he tries to kiss me all I can think about is Troye. Troye. AAH

I swear he is taking over my life.

My Ipad rung. Troye Skyping.  No nono.

Okay I need a plan.  I will push Troye away. Make him hate me... more.

"Troye! What do you want? !"

I thought about how he was straight.  How he could never love me.

"Uh... er... hi Ty! How are you?

I love you troye.

"Fine. What do you want?"

This being horrible to Troye was surprisingly difficult.

"Uuuh .. well ... I just wanted..."

Deep breath. You have to do this Tyler. This isnt fair on Troye.

"Troye please I have things to do I can't sit here all day waiting for you to say what you want to say! I actually have company!  Jeez I need some space! We... you talk to me too much. We can't. Its too hard. Goodbye Troye please leave me alone.  Sorry!  "

Ed came and sat next to me.

"I am so glad I found you baby"

He kissed me. No TROYE! Oh that's right he won't care. Okay.

I looked over to the screen a second before Troye hung up. What I saw made me want to cry. Troye looked... heartbroken.  No he didn't Tyler there you go again giving yourself hope. This is for the best.

Current day

The past month has been horrid.  The urge to call Troye was overwhelming but I think I am over him. I broke up with Ed because... well... I caught him canoodling with someone else. .. a GIRL! Anyway I was going to dump him anyway.

Anyway today I am travelling to Brighton to see Zoe, because she invited me to a youtuber sleepover so of course I said yes! Its mostly British there though and I am sure Troye's not going!

Its been a month and a half since that horrible skype call so I am going to call Troye today and apologise because I am finally over him, so I can have a conversation like a normal human being!

He answered almost immediately so he must have forgiven me!

"TYOYE BOY!"

Oh dear the connection must have dropped. Oh well.

I tried again and called his land line. 

Troye's little brother Tyde answered.

"Hey Tyde!"

We made small talk for a minute until I asked for Troye.

"Yep su... uuuh no sorry he is... uhh.. not in? Yes he is not in. Bye!

" Oh come on Tyde I am not stupid just give the phone to Troye!"

There was whispering I couldn't make out on the other side then I heard Troye's voice and my whole world crumbled.  I was very much still in love with Troye Sivan.