The Glitch

Chapter Ten: Mine

Henrik sat in the dark grey swivel chair in front of me, his legs crossed and his eyes narrowed in concentration. "So.. vhen did you start feeling zhis vay? Vas it right after Sean vas taken away in zhat police car or..?" He trailed off, his eyes studying me as he waited for a response to his question.

I sighed, putting my head into my hands. "I hadn't noticed a change in my behavior before.. so I guess. It was right after Sean was taken away." I hesitated. I knew Henrik was still skeptical of me, but I had to be patient with him. He's the only help I have.

Henrik nodded thoughtfully, tapping his chin with the dark blue pen in his hands. After a while, he looked back at me again. "Vhat about zhe black liquid you puked up? Do you have any idea vhat zhat could be?"

I bit back a growl, taking a deep breath before I looked up at him. "Do you really think I'd be coming to you for help if I had already figured this whole, shitty situation out myself?" Despite my irritation, I kept my voice low and steady.

He gulped, shifting in his chair as he looked away from me and down to his clipboard. "Vhat do you expect me to do about zhis, Anti? Vhat you're feeling isn't uncommon. Zhere are no remedies for curing zhese feelings you've grown. If anyzhing.. zhey could help you."

Of course he'd say that. He's nothing but a quack. These feelings only make me weak and this motherfucker knows that. I'm tired of sitting here and listening to this useless information that will get me nowhere.

I quickly got up from my seat, my jaw clenched my my expression hardened. "You're a fucking idiot you know that? You, and all these fucking egos I call brothers! I hope you all burn in Hell.." I turned my back to him, my eyes cast down to the floor.

"Maybe someday I'll even be lucky enough to put you there myself." I spat at him, slamming his room door open and striding out into the hallway. I wasn't heading back to the living room. I wasn't going to face them all in this emotional state.

They'd view me as weak. Pathetic. Exactly how I feel at the moment. Before Henrik could say another word, I fast walked down the hallway and to the last door on the left, standing in front of it. My room. It'd been so long since I'd been in here.

I never wanted to step foot back inside this depressing hole. I remember what I did the last time I was in here. It was when I was at my lowest point in life. I vowed that night that I'd never let the past intervene with the present or future.

That included my room. I just decided to stay away. Stay away from any memories I have of that night. The night I had to rely on him for comfort. The night I felt completely broken and unguarded. The night I let myself feel. Never again.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath and calming my nerves before I slowly pushed open the dark green door, looking around at the beaten and scratched up room. The painted black walls had holes and deep gashes scattered across each side.. like decorations.

My white lamp laid broken a few feet away from my bed, shards of glass covering the cream, carpeted floor around it. My lowest point.. I looked to the right of the room, noticing my small, black nightstand with the drawers torn out and tossed to the side of it. My failure..

Biting my lip, I let my eyes wander over to the mirror on the far wall, exactly in front of my bed. The glass was broken and most of it was debris on the floor. I let go.. I stepped inside, avoiding the clothes and sharp objects on the floor as I shut the door quietly behind me.

I slowly made my way over to the mirror, my eyes fixated on the jagged pieces as I stood in front of it. The reflection of a monster.. I lifted my hand up to the sharp edges hesitantly, dragging my finger along them. The dried blood was still there from the way I slammed my fist into it.

My hands were cut and bruises were already forming.. but I hadn't cared. All I cared about was the fact that I couldn't even keep myself from.. losing it.. in front of him. I hissed, pulling my hand away from the jagged pieces to see a small incision on my finger. Blood.

I inhaled sharply, remembering everything from that night as it came crashing down on me. He saw me weak.. I couldn't stop the tears from falling as I momentarily forgot about my injured finger, bringing my hands up to my face.

My enemy comforted me when I was at my worst.. My brain was working overtime as thoughts bombarded me with no signs of stopping. I lost my intimidation because of my weakness.. I could've attracted anyone with my broken sobs.. but instead I got him.

The man with everything. The man whose kindness knows no bounds. The man who took everything from me and acted as if he did nothing wrong. The man I have never once put my trust or faith into. The man who has it all. Everything I want..

A low growl emitted from my chest as I withdrew my hands from my face, letting my arms fall to my sides. My head stayed down, my eyes closed and my expression as hard as stone. I'll do anything to take what's mine.

What's rightfully mine. He thinks he knows what it's like to feel all alone. When in reality, what he feels is only a fraction of what I feel. I will win.

No matter who stands in my way.