Into the Dark {l.h. + a.i.} || lashton || BoyxBoy

| f i r s t |

| f i r s t |

•••

"How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around?

I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown."

-Chrtistina Perri, 'Arms'

•••

"A gay one! I've never had a gay one before." I heard an unfamiliar voice say from above me. I groaned as much as I could and rolled over.

"What?" I asked groggily, sitting up from my uncomfortably slumped position against the bathroom door.

"Ashton Fletcher Irwin, seventeen, from Oregon. Likes All Time Low and Blink 182. Plays drums and saxophone. Sucks at math and is attracted to males. Hello," said the boy leaning over me, his gold eyes flicking across my face like a paintbrush. "I'm Lucas."

"Hi?" I said, perplexed.

"Can I ask you a question?" He asked, standing up and offering me a hand. I took it, still thoroughly confused. "What do I look like?"

The question struck me as odd, but I have him a once-over and answered. "You have gold eyes--"

"I always have gold eyes. Get to the good stuff. Height? Weight? Am I hot?" He said, leaning forward eagerly.

I paused and swallowed shallowly because he was hot. "Um, well...you're taller than me. And...you have blonde hair. You're kind of pale. Skinny, I guess. Um...broad shoulders."

He looked at me, cocking an eyebrow inquisitively. "I'm a guy?"

"Yes?" I asked more than answered.

"Yes! Oh, yes. I hate when I'm a girl."

"What? I--why would you be a girl?" I was still disoriented, and I leaned against the counter in my bathroom to get my bearings. The room spun crazily and the floor was out of focus and Lucas seemed to be radiating light.

"Well, it all depends on what you need to see. Sometimes people need a male, sometimes a female. I'm ethereal so I don't really have a gender, but I feel like I identify way more with this kind of body than the other, you know?"

"This is really weird." I said. "I'm leaving."

I turned around and reached out for the door. And then

my hand passed through it.

I tried again. The same thing happened.

"What the--," I looked down at my seemingly solid body and then

I froze.

"Is that..."

"You? On the the floor there? Yeah, it sure is." Lucas said in his golden voice, his golden eyes looking at me as he cast out a dull golden glow

"I--what?" I was speechless, choking on the image that was still in front of me, the image that was my body slumped, loose

lifeless.

"You know, I have wings. They're pretty amazing. Wanna look?"

I couldn't believe that was me. I'd never seen myself look so much not like myself.

"It's still weird to me that people are always more transfixed by themselves than by the angel standing right in front of them. I really feel like that says a lot about modern society."

"I'm--that's me." I said, more to myself than to Lucas.

"We've been over this."

"I--I'm--," I couldn't quite get the word out.