Hetalia oneshots

iceland x fridge

Well as usual Denmark and Sweden got into another fight, I didn't stop it this time because last time I tried I got scary glares from both of them. Plus it's not like Norway and Iceland care that they're trying to kill each other, I mean Norge finds it entertaining when Danemark gets beaten up for some reason anyway. And then Icey just doesn't give a crap about anything so...

Sigh, sometimes I feel like I'm the odd one out. I don't show it though because that'll get Swed's attention and things get a little creepy.

"You shithead Swed! I could totally kick your ass at a drinking competition! 'Nough said!" Matthias laughed like he was the bigger person.

"Yer nothin' but a liar." Sweden responded very bluntly.

"PROVE IT!"

"Okay." Norway interrupted, "Why don't we just see who can drink the most by actually drinking."

Of course, next thing I know beers and different booze are getting taken out and the two bigger men are sitting at our newly made table.

"Alright let's see by a game of shots!" Denmark snickered. Oh no this can't be good. Ah I'll just watch I guess.

"I'm drinking too." Iceland said as he opened a German beer. Well I guess he's not a kid anymore so me and Norway can't exactly stop him now.

And so the games begin and it's like the Olympics all over again. They take shot after shot, knocking back alcohol like it's no big deal. Also they're slamming the glasses down on the table which bothers me because I don't want to clean up shards of glass later and I just waxed it earlier. It gives it that nice sleek shine I don't have anymore!

Lukas is keeping track of how much everyone is drinking by putting tally marks down on a piece of paper. Berwald is drinking somewhat slowly and calmly. Matt is drinking really fast and excitedly. Norway is taking shots every once in awhile. As for me, I'm just going to drink my hot coco instead. Wait where's Emil?

"Goddamn you guys suck at this." The Icelandic had several downed beer bottles in from of him, looking extremely satisfied and prideful, even though he was hiccuping. How good is his alcohol tolerance, I forgot.

"Are you drunk already Ice?!" The Dane was laughing really hard. What a hypocrite though, he was drunk off his rocker. No seriously, he was about to fall off his chair.

Don't be rooting for Sweden just yet cause he was pretty close to whacking his head on the table. Oh gosh, thank goodness Sealand wasn't here today.

"Who's winning Norge?!" Denmark yelled loudly.

"I'm not telling you, idiot." Norway had a faint red over his cheeks. Not because he was blushing or anything, he too was getting a tiny bit tipsy.

Hmm should I video this? It would be a good lesson to teach them later maybe... I decide to get my camera, feeling slightly guilty but in the end I know I have good reason.

I come back downstairs though and all hell is breaking loose. And no not Hell, Norway okay.

The two enemies are holding up broken bottles and aiming at each other already. The Norwegian is just sitting there with some popcorn he got out of nowhere and a martini. Oh no I lost Icey again. Welp, better go find him and make sure he hasn't killed anything or done something stupid.

I walk into the kitchen and I'm surprised to find him doing what I never thought he'd ever do or ever even imagined he'd try.

"Oh Fridgette..." Emil sighed as he sipped another beer and threw whatever was left to the ground, "Why can't we be together?! It's just so hard! I'm so hard! Ugggghhhhh!" I can't believe he doesn't see me standing there. I think now's the time to start videoing.

"Why can't you just love me like you love the wall or something huh? Don't you and the wall hook up sometimes or whatever?!" I wonder if he realizes he's talking to a fridge...

"Did it hurt?! Did it?! When you fell down from heaven?!" Oh my god is he hitting on the fridge?

Is he hitting on the fridge?!

"Oh man you're dirtier than my browsing history! Ya want me to clean you sometime?" Is he seriously winking now? Well if he'll clean out the fridge then that's okay. Wait what kind of browsing history does he have?!

His look is seductive now, "Oh Fridgette... Can't you just see how much I love you?! That outlet isn't good enough for you! You can't just stick it-" He gasped, "Wait you're a boy?!" Um I don't think a fridge has a specific gender, "... That's okay! I'll totally go homo for you!" I had to keep back my laugh.

"See! I'll love you no matter what! I'll warm your heart!" I-is he crying?! "I FUCKING LOVE YOU FRIDGETTE I MEAN FRIDGARY!" Wow he's creative when it comes to names.

Yeah I might need to wash the fridge later because he's starting to kiss it... Now he's making out with it... Licking it... He's unzipping his pants. Okay that's enough.

"Um Emil, I think it's time for you to go to bed..." I say and start leading him away from his um... 'Lover'?

"Fiiiinnnnn! I was just getting down to the deed!" He whined.

"Er I don't think it wants the 'D'."

"DON'T REFER TO HIM OR HER AS AN IT! HE OR SHE IS MUCH MORE THAN THAT!"

Later that night I got stuck with putting everyone into bed. I literally had to wrestle Denmark into his room as he accused me of being the one that killed his father, I needed to pick up Sweden and throw him into his bed, and had to drag sleeping Norway down the hall to his bedroom too. Iceland though, well he kept coming downstairs and sleeping next to the fridge so in the end I let him and just put a blanket over him.