Monster Among Men ➵ Michael Clifford a.u.

Chapter 1

Michael's POV
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The rapid pattern of my heart beating heavily in my chest fills my ears as I nervously walk down the narrow, empty, hallway of the school that I had once known so well. I wipe the palms of my hands roughly on my ripped black skinny jeans to remove some of  the sweat that had seeped from them. Although I had walked these halls many times before, something about this didn't feel right. I stopped in the middle of the long, dimly lit hallway and began to look around, searching for my locker.

As I slowly looked down the rows of bright blue lockers, all but one disappeared, as if by magic. One sad, dull, locker remained, I approached it with caution, mentally questioning everything that had just happened in a matter of seconds. When I finally reached the locker, I noticed the 8 letters that had haunted me all summer, spray painted in a bold, red color.        

"Murderer" I whispered to myself.

My breath hitched as I took a few steps back, bumping into someone in the process. I quickly turned around to apologize, but it was as if my voice was stolen from me in that very moment, as my face turned pale with fear and sorrow. It was my step-brother, Benjamin. My dead stepbrother.

"Benny?" I manage to spit out, just above a whisper.

I didn't know whether to run, or wrap my arms around him and never let go. Before I could even form a proper sentence, students appeared, lining the hallway, surrounding us. Surrounding me. All eyes were on me as I felt the anxiety begin to settle in my chest, making it hard for me to breath. The students, along with Benjamin, took a few steps forward, causing me to be face to face with him. After a few moments of agonizing silence, Benjamin finally spoke.

"Why?" he asked innocently.

My heart stopped at the sound of his voice, making me realize how much I had missed hearing it. "Why what, Benny?" I whispered as I attempted to choke back the tears that threatened to fall.

"Why?" Benjamin repeated. "Why, Mikey? Why?" his voice full of sorrow.

"Why what? Benny, What?" I raised my voice as I gave in and let a few tears fall. "Mikey, Why!" Benjamin cries, begging me for an answer to a question that I don't know.

"Benny, what do you want from me?!" I yell desperately, causing him to flinch. A tear falls down Benjamin's cheek as he looks up at me.

"Why did you do it?" he sniffled.

"Why did you kill me?" he breaks down crying, leaving me frozen in time.

My eyes widen at his choice of words, and I can hear my heart shattering with every breath I take.

"I-i" I try to find the right words to say, but the sound of my own sobs drown out my thoughts, and when I looked down to find the little boy that I once had here with me, he was gone.

The students had disappeared, and I was alone, again, drowning in my own thoughts, until they began to flood my mind with nonsense.

"He's dead, Michael."
they taunted me.

"and it's all your fault."
they continued

"you're the reason that little boy is dead"

they laugh.

"STOP!" I shout as I shoot up from my bed, covered in sweat.

My mind is blank for a few moments, before I realize, it was only a dream.

"It was just a dream." I whispered to myself as i wipe away the beads of sweat from my forehead.

Still in shock, I didn't notice my mother standing in the doorway of my bedroom. I sighed deeply before I spoke, embarrassed by what she must have heard or seen as I was asleep.

"How long have you been standing there, Karren?" I scoffed and rolled my eyes.

"Long enough." She speaks softly, "Long enough" she repeats to herself.

"Well, you can go back to bed now, the shows over." I groan.

I have no idea what my Mom had witnessed while I was asleep, and I personally didn't want to find out. If she was, in any way, alarmed by anything that she might have seen, she would send me back to rehab.

"Michael," she sighs, "You have to get ready for school."

I had completely forgotten that I was going back to school so soon. The thought of walking into school after everything that happened last summer, absolutely terrified me. My mom must have noticed my sudden change in mood, because she took a seat next to me on my bed and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"You'll be alright, son. Trust me." she says comfortingly.

"Mom?" I let out a shaky breath.

"Yes?" she turns her body towards me, ready to listen.

"I'm petrified." I admit, letting my head fall into my hands.

"Well, It's okay to be afraid, darling." she wraps her arms around me, awkwardly hugging me as I hold my head in my hands.

"You don't understand" I sigh as I raise my head to look at her face full of concern, "I've never been this afraid of something in my entire life" I add, falling back onto the bed with a groan.

"Hey. if anyone can pull through something like this, it's you." She says with a hint of confidence in her voice.

Instead of saying anything in reply, I just stare up at the ceiling.

"You're a Clifford. Own it. You're Special." She smiles slightly as she pats my chest.

"What's so special about having these assholes in my head? Huh?" I ask as I sit up. "What's so special about having anxiety? Or depression?" I add. "What's so special about being as mentally messed up as us?"

I grab my pillow from beside me and cover my face with it, as an attempt to calm myself down. I hear my Mom let out a deep sigh, before she began to speak.

"Michael, I know that they cause you're sudden outbursts of anger but I-"

"They have nothing to do with this right now, Mom" I said sternly, "I told you, they haven't been an issue for at least a month now. I'm fine."

I lied to put my Mom's mind at ease. The truth is, 'they' -- my demons -- have been causing me to have recurring dreams about my step-brother Benjamin, who passed away last summer.
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author's note:
I hope this was interesting (: I have a few chapters written and ready to be posted, so keep your eyes open 👀 ♥ and remember, don't be a silent reader !! 🖤