Chasing After Him

11: Something Unexpected

It's already late at night and he still couldn't sleep.

Beam has become irritable once again. No, it isn't anyone's fault. This one is entirely his. Or maybe he should just throw the blame towards someone else? But then again, that someone else has been faithfully fulfilling what he has asked so he had no right to be angry, right?

He wanted to scream. This was the reason why the first thing he had thought upon waking up after that one night and remembering what had happened was that it was bad.

One straight freaking week. A WEEK! He couldn't stop his mind from dwelling on that certain irritating someone that made him think of unnecessary stuff.

It's f*cked up. He's f*cked up, and not just literally. He wanted to bash his head on the wall just for thinking that.

Beam has always been indecisive about things that really confuse him. Look what had happened with his 'relationship' status with Kit? It was due to his confusion. He actually mistook his caring to be something completely not true. He became impulsive, which is something he absolutely hated in himself as it usually meant he did something wrong. Because he wasn't thinking clearly.

And he had to apologize. To which he completely despises doing. Thankfully, he always does manage to use the word towards his best friends. He does not mind that because he trusts them a lot. But he still does not like doing it.

Even for his friends. They themselves knew that so they always soften up when he finally apologize. He hates it but if he does do it that meant he really is sincere about it.

And he realizes just at this moment that he might be wrong about his thoughts when it comes to a certain moon.

That one night MIGHT have affected him more than he thought it would, and that it MIGHT NOT have been because a certain someone had pestered him endlessly after that... act.

Ugh, this might just be momentary insanity brought on by the fact that his experience with that certain person was a series of firsts, to his dismay.

This might be the reason why girls always make a fuss when it's their first time. The mess it creates is bothersome, he thought. He made a face at that thought.

He isn't a virgin, and he isn't a prude. But what he had with Forth was indeed something he had never ever done before in his whole life. Even thinking about it never crossed his mind until he happened.

He should have known that the admiration he felt back when they were still firsties is going to bite him back viciously.

Well, to be fair, this isn't the first time he had been thinking about Forth honestly. He was their friend after all, still is. But now his mind isn't so innocent when he sees his face in his mind.

It's frustrating!

His mood continued to carry on to the next day. During class, he was fine. He was able to do all the things he need to do perfectly, as usual. It was only when they were given free time that his ever-smiling mood felt slightly ominous. Not to mention the other students, even both his friends decided to stay away from him that day since they know when he is in that mood, he needs some time to himself.

And he needs it, badly. Yet at the same time, he is wary to be by himself. He needed to stabilize himself. Alone. Yet he does not trust his mind at all.

Knowing his class after lunch is the last subject and with it being only self study, he walked around the entirety of the University in order to calm himself. He figured this might help him keep his mind relaxed. He let his feet take him where they wanted to.

He was just starting to relax when he realized that he was walking towards the engineering building. He wasn't just walking to it, he was already close. Just another turn and he would see the stairs leading inside their faculty. He closed his eyes and tried to prevent himself from growling.