Kingdom Come

Chapter Eighteen: Fantasies

When I get back to the stable, Aura seems at least slightly refreshed by the taste of 'freedom'. I put her back in her stall, take off her bridle, and hand it to one of the stablehands. I then walk to the large dining hall, though the smell of food makes my stomach turn painfully. The feast laid out in front of me is due to the long hours of work of multiple chefs, and weeks of labor of farmers who are not starving. And most of it will be thrown out.

I clench my teeth against the bile rising in my throat.

"Ah! Darling. There you are!" My mother says, gesturing for me to sit down at the table, I obey.

"Yes. Sorry for my lateness," I say softly, my hands tightly balled in my lap.

"It is fine. Just be on time for the ball," my father interjects, I nod,

"Of course. I would never dare to be late for that," I comment calmly. They both nod, watching me out of the corner of their eyes.

"Are you not going to eat? You must be hungry!" my mother asks. I feel the edge of the knife now, but I'm no longer standing on it. It's pressed against my throat.

"Thank you, mother. I was a bit peckish, but I am not that hungry. After all, a Princess must stay at a proper weight," I tell her calmly, pulling a single thin pancake onto my plate. I neatly cut into it, aware newly of the knife now brandished against her own neck, "I do not believe I have the luxury of eating much yet. I simply must remain suitable for suitors," I tell her calmly. Her eyebrow quirks upward, but the knife is still in my hand. I still own the situation.

"Yes, however, you do not have to worry much longer. You will be married soon," she says, taking a minuscule bite. And just like that, the knife is wrenched into her grasp, and she takes the advantage to slaughter me. My breath catches, and my heart stops,

"I am sorry, what?" I ask politely, attempting to bind the gaping wound.

"You are going to be married in a few months now," she repeats, and the wound grows rapidly. She steps back, watching the blood course down from my chest, mixing with the yellow, orange, and red of my dress.

"Oh? And to whom will I be married to?" I ask politely, taking a small bite as my wound immediately closes, the blood vanishing into thin air.

"Ah, to the young Prince Danny. Of the Iris Kingdom," she tells me, attempting to kill me again. I catch her knife.

"Oh! Prince Danny, of course. Though I thought the Iris Kingdom had largely lost power," I tell her, the knife now in my hand, and plunged into her throat.

"Y-Yes, I suppose so. Well, I suppose the marriage isn't official or anything. Though you should try to find a suitable partner," she stumbles, knowing I've just won. I stand up,

"My apologies, but I am behind on my duties, so I must go catch up on that," I tell them, my father nods,

"Yes, of course," he tells me, waving me off. I walk out the door, in relief. I smile slightly, and quickly rush off to my room. I close the door behind me, and immediately kick off the stupid high heels, and then go to grab the cloak Zack gave me. I tug it over my shoulders, my hand sliding into one of its pockets to pull out the knife. I lightly run my fingers over the edge, sitting down on my bed. Is so simple, a knife. Unlike the words we sling like blades in 'polite' tones and words. It lightly cuts into my finger, drawing blood. It's a bright, odd red. I glance down to the red of my dress. I thought at first it was blood red, but it's not. I glance back at my finger. The rich red bubble has somehow stayed on my finger.

I want Zack...

I want to watch the watch in the bathtub turn red as I run my fingers through his blood-soaked hair to gently untease the twisted knots of blood. I want to smell his overwhelming minty leather as I fall asleep. I want to see his anger, I want to see him. His anger is part who he is, and I desperately want to just see him again.

I... I wish my mother would stop using 'marriage' to make me afraid. I wish she'd stop pretending to care when no one else is around, it would be better if she only cared when others are watching, because then I'd know where I stand.

I wish my father would stop his own selfish greed. Though I've never suffered from it myself, now I've seen the pain it causes, and it needs to stop. I wish he would look at the town just a minute ride's away from here and realize what he's doing.

I wish I could be in power already. I wish I could make the changes that need to happen. I wish I could know what to do.

The blood slides down my finger in a trembling line, pooling slightly in my palm. My wishes and wants will not be answered. I need to move on.

I stand up, I wipe away the blood. I take off the cloak and adjust the tiara on my head. I sit down at my small table now overflowing with documents, and I start working on the rudimentary documents that will make no changes even when I suggest them. But I'll still make the changes.

I am the Princess. And I will one day turn these dreams into realities. Though not all of them will come true, I will ensure my people not only live, but live well.

Thank you, Rosilian. For teaching me how to love my people. For instilling my sense of duty to them so deeply within me that my parents can't dig it out of me. And now, I will fight.