I'm Sorry.

Chapter 14

I sat there on the toilet lid, I seemed to spend most of my time in the toilets these days. I grabbed some toilet roll and in a dash of adrenaline I scrunched it up and threw it at the toilet door. I could hear Gemma stumble into the toilets, she has a heart of gold for caring about me. I saw her shadow and I heard her place her hands on the door. I tried to cheer myself up by relating it to the scene in Frozen where a young Anna is trying to convince Elsa to come out and be with her but it really didn't help at all.

" Annabel? Sorry, Anna. Are you okay?" She asked.

" I don't know. I didn't think they would say that about me!" I said, wiping my eyes.

" I know. It's not very nice. I don't know what happened that evening but what they published isn't acceptable." Gemma sympathised.

" I didn't think it would be THIS hard." I said.

" Its never going to be easy with Harry and you need to realise that honey. It's very unfortunate but that's how it is, sorry. Harry is sorting it out he's on the phone to the company who-"

"No! He doesn't need to, this is how it is when I'm with Harry. I need to realise that, I need to grow up. I have a set back of being weak and full of self doubt." I said straightening myself out and unlocking the door. Gemma pulled me into a hug and took my hand and we both walked back up the coach together. People were giving me stares but I lifted my head up and made my way to my seat where Harry was talking to the trolley lady with his phone to his ear, he stopped talking and lowered his phone when I returned.

" Babe, you okay?" He asked grabbing my hands from Gemma.

" I'm fine." I said and took the magazine off my seat and placed it firmly on the trolley and sat down with my legs crossed.

"That's my girl." Harry said with a smile as he leant over and kissed the top of my head.

The trolley lady gave Harry a sharp stare and walked the trolley off our coach. I saw Gemma give Harry a thumbs up and they both returned to their seats.

The train journey seemed to be going on forever and I was struggling with all the drama. I need to learn to walk in this relationship before I run into it. The moment Gemma walked onto the train I was on cloud nine and now I seem to be on cloud thunder. I don't know why I get so worked up about things I implement myself. It was my own doing so I needed to deal with it myself.

" I'm sorry for all of this. I didn't mean to cause any trouble." I said looking at Gemma and Harry.

" Its fine! Don't beat yourself up about it honey." Gemma said leaning over and rubbing my arm.

" You are no trouble. I had a chat with a contact who will see about getting those magazines changed." Harry said looking at his phone.

Honestly I felt like crap. Harry assured me none of this would happen. Well he didn't know it was going to happen. He could have asked the paparazzi not to use those pictures they took of me, he has the authority to do so. He loves me and that's all that matters, he knows what I'm really like so he could standup for me. God! Stand up for yourself girl! He's not going to hang around long if I rely on him to justify everything I do.

I'll do a compromise with myself, anything that I feel I can't handle or pushes me to the edge I will call a strike. Get more than 3 strikes and I'll have to end the relationship. Wait. I knew this was going to happen, I knew I shouldn't have reacted like that so this strike can be overlooked. From now on I'm implementing the strikes.

I'm sorry. Why am I apologising to myself? I know, because this relationship may be over before it's even begun.