Other Sanders Sides One Shots

It Can Still Be A Good Day

[Written January 18, 2018]

A/N: Inbox is always open. I love you guys. Please take care of yourselves.

Genre: Patton angst; Angst with a bittersweet ending; Angst with a hopeful ending; Self hurt/comfort

Word count: 983

Tws: Depression, some self deprecating thoughts, arguing, one curse and one food mention, mention of an anxiety attack

Patton woke up feeling very bad.

He couldn't really figure out why. He thought he may have had a nightmare, but couldn't remember what it was about, and each second remembered less. His chest was tight and a permanent frown was stuck to his face. He felt like he needed to cry for no reason.

He rolled over and his clock read out 2:14 pm. That only made him feel worse. Half a day, already wasted. He missed making breakfast for the others, and they've more than likely had lunch by now as well. And did anyone try to wake him up? He didn't think so.

It's just 'cause they know you needed the rest. It can still be a good day.

He rolled out of bed around two thirty, excited to see the others. Virgil was probably in his room, but Roman and Logan could be in the commons.

Arguing drifted towards him as he climbed down the staircase. Frowning, he stopped at the entrance to the living room.

"You're a moron," Virgil growled. "Stop yelling at me!"

He was standing a few inches away from Roman, his hood pulled over his head and shaking with rage. Roman had his arms crossed over his chest, looking at Virgil as if he'd pissed on his shoes. Logan sat on the sofa with his head in his hands.

"What's going on?" Patton asked tentatively.

Their gazes snapped to him. Virgil relaxed a little bit, and Logan looked relieved.

"Well Anxiety over here seems to be going back to old routines," Princey spat.

Shock took over Virgil's face and he spluttered for a moment with clenched fists before whipping around and storming up the stairs. Patton reached for him, his stomach clenching at the tears in his eyes, but Virgil just shrugged him off. His bedroom door slammed a moment later.

"Roman!" Patton cried, turning back.

To his credit, he did look guilty, and just as frustrated as Virgil did. "Thomas had a wonderful audition today," Roman said, digging his nails into his biceps. "The part was perfect for him. All," he gestured messily towards Patton, "sunshiney and crap. And- And he couldn't even go! He had an anxiety attack in the parking lot!"

Patton swallowed. If he'd been awake, he could have calmed Virgil down.

"I admit I could have been of use," Logan said from the couch, not looking up from his feet, "but Virgil was acting irrational. He threw his coffee at Roman, and yelled at me when I tried to remind him of the reality."

"Thomas has been in bed all day," Roman muttered, looking away in annoyance. "We've gotten nothing done."

With each word, the curling guilt grew more and more powerful in Patton's abdomen. It got so bad he felt nauseous.

"Well!" He swallowed and smiled. "I'm sure we can clear all this up. Why don't we call the director-"

"'Can't." Roman glared. "Virgil won't let us."

"Not... Necessarily the wording I'd use," Logan said. "We tried, and Thomas began to hyperventilate. Virgil as well."

"I have a headache," the royal muttered. "I'm going to lay down."

"Princey," Patton said quickly. Roman reluctantly stopped and looked at him. "Please try to talk to him later."

He sighed, but nodded and left the room. Patton turned away from Logan for a moment, who was still preoccupied with thought, to collect himself.

It was your fault.

He took in a shaky breath.

You ruined their entire day.

He bit his lip and blinked back tears.

It was your fault, your fault, your fault-

"Patton?"

He sniffed and turned back to Logan, smiling. "Yeah, Lo?"

"I am sorry if we woke you up. Are you feeling better?"

Patton blinked in surprise. "Oh- Yeah! Yeah, I'm okay. Hey, I haven't eaten yet, though, are you hungry? We can make-"

"I'm sorry, Patton, but I'll be busy for the rest of the day." He shakily rose to his feet, looking exhausted. "I need to rewrite Thomas's schedule for the week. Roman convinced me to write it with the prediction of Thomas getting the role, to go ahead and get it out of the way."

"Well- He can still get the role!"

Logan frowned. "I don't think so." He left, resting a gentle hand on Patton's shoulder on the way.

Patton shakily sat on the couch, his eyes welling up with tears. He trembled with the effort not to fall into a panic attack.

It can still be a good day.

He could still make the food. He loved cooking- He wasn't really hungry, but he could make something for Virgil and check up on him.

He went into the kitchen and made two plates of grilled cheese- Virgil's favourite -and went back upstairs.

He knocked gently on Virgil's door. "Honey? Can I come in? I made you food!"

"I'm not hungry, Pat." His voice came out thick.

Patton pursed his lips. "You need to eat. Did you have lunch? You can't skip meals."

There was silence for a while, and Patton was about to barge in to check on him, when he whimpered, "I'm sorry, I just need to be alone right now, I'm sorry."

Patton swallowed. "Okay. I'll just leave the plate here, though, okay? You need to eat. Thank you for telling me."

He left the plate on the ground in front of Virgil's door and carried his own to his room. It was close to four now, and he was quite certain today was not a good day.

He set the plate on his bedside table and crawled into bed. He opened up his computer and snuggled up in his blankets. He pulled up Netflix and, even if he wasn't hungry, pulled his plate into his lap.

He spent the rest of the day in bed.

He relaxed.

He slept a little more.

He distracted himself.

Because tomorrow could still be a good day.